- My three oldest boys hate their names, saying each one is boring.
- They don’t understand that I had a lot to consider, including family legacy and popularity.
- It hurts when they complain about their names, but I know they’re exploring their identities.
“Hey Maverick, Ja’Maar, Grayson — come eat!!”
It’s a common refrain in my house around dinner time. Except I don’t have a son named Maverick — nor do I have a Ja’Maar or a Grayson.
Instead, these are the names my three older sons — ages 10, 8, and 6 — wish I had chosen for them all those years ago when I so obviously failed them in their first days of life.
These days, I act like it’s no big deal when my oldest, Graham, decides his name is fodder for bullying (apparently, the “graham cracker” thing is still a battle). My next son, James, is so bored by his name he could “fall asleep.” Luckily, my third son, Ford, is only bored enough by his first name to swap it with his second (Grayson).
But what they don’t know is the immense amount of time, thought, obsession, consideration, and research that went into choosing baby names. So when it so clearly misses the mark in their minds, I can’t help but get a bit sad.
I was under a lot of pressure to find the perfect names
Their grievances have led me to reexamine the naming process. When my kids ask, “Mom, why did you pick such a weird name?” I’m forced to think back to my nine months of pondering and worrying about choosing just the right name. I took a lot into consideration.
Graham was named after his dad’s middle name. James was named after a relative, while his middle name, John, was for my grandfather, who got to meet him for a few short months before passing. And then, there was Ford — after two days of birthing, it just seemed like a fun random name.
But kids don’t care about legacy or family names, so they insist on changing their name to that of their favorite NFL player (Ja’Maar Chase).
I also felt obligated to pick a name that screams leadership in the boardroom but fits them at each stage — from cute squishy babyhood to a first date to wise old men.
I also had to ensure the names were common enough that they wouldn’t be too unusual but not so common that they just blended in with the pack.
I wish my kids understood all that pressure I was under.
I remind myself that their complaints are not personal
When my kids see a YouTuber with a “sweet” name and a sweet life to go with it, they revert to their complaints.
As a younger parent, I have been pretty emotional about it. After all, I considered so many things to help pick the perfect name for them without knowing them yet — an impossible job.
As a more experienced parent, bracing for my fourth and fifth kids to come at me with the same vengeance, I’m prepared. I’ve realized that not only is it not personal, but it’s totally normal as they explore their identities.
Now, when they say they hate their names, I just ask what they want to be called instead. Typically, after Ja’Maar has done the dishes and Maverick gets his homework done, they forget it ever happened and wake up the next morning as themselves again.
