2025 started with a huge and unwelcome life transition: After seven years living in Budapest, I had to move home due to visa issues.
Transitioning from a bustling city to a small town was a tough adjustment. I felt lost after trading my community, lifestyle, and travel-focused identity for my small hometown in the Pacific Northwest.
To pass the time while searching for a new job, I spontaneously joined a Brazilian jiu-jitsu (BJJ) gym. Training BJJ was supposed to be a fun hobby that helped me find my footing during a hard time, but a year later, it’s changed my health, social life, and attitude in so many ways.
BJJ helped me improve my mental health during a difficult time in life
Brazilian jiu-jitsu is a martial art and combat sport that involves grappling techniques. I knew it would give me a solid workout, but I didn’t expect it to bring me peace of mind, as well.
Although training was exhausting, I loved how this total-body workout required every part of my concentration. Whenever I stepped onto the mat, the world went quiet, leaving me space to just breathe and connect with my body.
Training also added structure to my days — it provided a reason to shut my laptop and move my body instead of just spiraling over my latest job application and obsessively refreshing my inbox.
I started looking forward to my evenings, knowing I would get in a good workout and have a 90-minute break from any stressors or disappointments.
Slowly, I felt my self-confidence rebuild
Denae McGaha
After jumping from a discouraging immigration process in Hungary to a grueling job search in the States, my self-efficacy was at an all-time low. It felt like no matter what I tried, I couldn’t get my life back on track.
Unlike my job hunt, however, I didn’t put any pressure on myself at the BJJ gym. My only goal was to show up.
It didn’t matter whether I left class elated or frustrated; I always took pride in the fact that I had simply shown up and gotten stronger.
In a way, the gradual progress gave me hope for other areas in my life. If I could practice the same technique for months without seeing improvement and then feel it click into place one day, perhaps I could apply that lesson elsewhere.
Maybe all of my efforts weren’t in vain; they were helping me build up to something. I started to believe in my own abilities again.
I formed relationships that added richness to my life
Moving back to my hometown in my 30s felt like starting from scratch, since many friends I grew up with had moved away during my time abroad. This was especially jarring after leaving such a full social life back in Budapest, and I struggled with loneliness.
Joining a BJJ gym introduced me to people I probably wouldn’t have crossed paths with otherwise, as it was an age and career-diverse crowd.
I thought I would be intimidated — I wasn’t used to spending so much time in such male-dominated spaces — but the owners and trainers at my gym made it feel like a true safe space. I met so many people who were generous with their time and knowledge, and built some dear friendships.
Now, I have adventure buddies to explore the area with, which has only made me appreciate my hometown more.
My physical health and body image improved
Denae McGaha
After a lifetime preoccupation with being smaller or skinnier, I was suddenly in a community where being strong and powerful was celebrated.
This had a ripple effect throughout my life, motivating me to take care of my body in other ways. I started paying more attention to what I ate so I’d be fueled and focused during practice, rather than lightheaded.
During other workouts at the community fitness center, I found more motivation to push myself, knowing that I was building endurance and strength to help me on the mats.
It was exciting to see myself grow stronger as I gained muscle and technique. Being cheered on by my classmates for getting stronger — for applying more pressure and taking up more space during matches — was so freeing.
In the end, I did see my body change, but that was a side effect of doing something I loved, instead of a preoccupation that added anxiety and frustration to my life.
Brazilian jiu-jitsu taught me some invaluable lessons: that I can persevere through difficulty, that success can take many different forms, and that deciding not to give up on yourself can be life-changing.
I still don’t know what the next year of life will bring, but now, I’m excited to face it head-on.
