Worried About Living Far From Parents; Found Solution Without Moving Home

Alaska is a bucket-list travel destination for many. For me, it’s the place I call home, but I found myself itching to leave as an adult.

After years of traveling, I felt like I was changing, while my hometown stayed frozen in time. I was ready for a permanent adventure abroad, and so I set my sights on moving to Europe.

Then one fateful evening, while climbing the corporate ladder to finance my European dream, I met a traveling Australian who shared a similar vision of life abroad — it felt like kismet. Through distance, we stayed connected, fantasizing about a move.

One day, I finally took the leap, packed my life into a few suitcases, and moved halfway across the world to Munich, taking the chance on an exciting new relationship and life in Germany.

The first few months were tough. Our days were full of navigating visas, cultural differences, bureaucracy, language learning, and apartment hunting — but the challenges delivered big rewards.

Over six transformative years, Munich became our home. We built lifelong friendships and discovered a healthy work-life balance. Our relationship became rock-solid, and we flew to Las Vegas to get married. Not long after, we were granted permanent residency.

People asked us why we chose to move to Germany. Our answer felt easy: Europe was a dream, but logistically, it was a sort of middle ground between the United States and Australia, a place where we both had to start over on equal footing.

I often joked that I was a German at heart, and living in Munich felt like a homecoming in many ways, so I never saw myself leaving after working so hard to get here.

It was the perfect halfway point — until it wasn’t.

While looking for a compromise, we set our sights on Vancouver

The COVID-19 pandemic brought our lives and global travel to a screeching halt. Seemingly overnight, our idyllic place between Sydney and Eagle River felt impossibly far away.

With our parents in a high-risk group, I had anxiety every time my phone rang, wondering if it would be the kind of news that would call me home. But in Munich, where traveling to Anchorage would take me about a day, I might not be able to get home in time.

Living half a world away from our aging parents went from being an exciting life adventure to a stressful and agonizing distance.

That was when we started having the conversation about moving home. It was hard to walk away from everything we built in Germany, but in our heart of hearts, we knew it was time to be closer to our loved ones.

But where is home when you’re a multinational couple? How could we choose between his parents in Sydney and my parents in Alaska?

To make matters more complicated, neither of us was ready to return to our home countries. We started exploring a compromise that might allow us to support both families.

I have dual Canadian citizenship through my dad, and Vancouver, Canada, shot to the top of our shortlist because of its frequent flights year-round to Sydney and seasonal direct flights to Anchorage. (Offseason, I could fly home via Seattle with a quick stopover.)

Once the world reopened, we began the big international move process all over again, navigating visas, friendships, pet relocation, and apartment hunting.

It didn’t take long for our move to pay off

The moment I landed in Vancouver, my heart ached for life in Munich. I wasn’t sure I could adjust to both the culture shock of living in Canada and the reverse culture shock of being back in North America.

Our decision paid off almost immediately, and any fears I had over making the right choice disappeared. Shortly after moving, my dad had a sudden cardiac arrest while playing ice hockey.

Within hours, I was on a direct three-hour flight home and by his side in the hospital, able to support him and my mom during his long recovery.

Similarly, my partner has made relatively quick-turnaround trips to Sydney, like when he went home to help his dad through a double knee-replacement surgery.

His options now include daily direct flights that take about 15 hours — a significant reduction from the previous 22-plus-hour indirect options from Munich.

As time goes on and our parents continue to age, being as close as we can to our families has been a true privilege and blessing. We went from seeing our families once every few years to several times a year.

Six years away in Munich, both my partner and I realized how much time we lost with our parents; the years of aging suddenly seemed to hit all at once.

Apart from being there for the lows, I get to be there for the highs, too. I’ve been around for more birthdays, more celebrations, and more stories parents can pass on face-to-face

Making memories with our parents while we still have them is more important than living out our dream in Germany. Over time, I have found immense happiness in Canada, where, surrounded by mountains and ocean, I get the raw, rugged nature I miss so much about Alaska, the freedom to work for myself, and the benefits of living in such a multicultural city with my partner.

We certainly plan to stay a while.