I try to take at least one overseas trip every year, and I’ve always wanted a partner who loves travel as much as I do to share them with.
So when I met my partner Noriel — who loves adventures as much as I do — I knew I had found a kindred spirit. We had just become “official” in our relationship when we started toying with the idea of going on vacation together.
At first, we thought we’d keep our first trip as a couple simple and not too extravagant — maybe a weeklong trip to a place close to our home in New Zealand.
However, we soon tossed this plan aside and set our sights on Bali. Noriel had been there before, and he spoke so highly about it. It was further away, but we could make our money go much further there. Plus, Bali looked absolutely stunning.
I was sold, and we began booking our trip. I’d be lying, though, if I said I wasn’t a little bit worried.
By the time we left, we would’ve been together for only four months, which is still so early in a relationship. Thoughts crept into my mind, “What if we break up before we go?” and “What if we don’t travel well together?”
We’d be with each other day and night for eight days, longer than we’d ever spent together before. Plus, if we had to cancel, I would lose thousands of dollars.
It turns out I didn’t need to be worried. Our trip to Bali was an incredibly positive experience that only brought us closer together, and I believe a few key things made it work.
From the start, we collaborated on the itinerary
Chelsea Tobin
Neither of us took the lead on this trip. It was a team collaboration from the start.
We made sure to plan an equal spread of activities — some I was more keen to do and some he was more excited to do. For example, I wanted to rent a gown and do a famous Bali swing photo shoot, while he wanted to see a traditional Balinese fire dance. So we did both.
When it came to accommodations, we both did research until we found places that we were equally excited about. Somehow, we found a fair balance in everything we did.
It was also important for us to stay mindful of each other’s travel preferences and needs
Some couples struggle to find a balance when one loves to arrive at the airport several hours early, while the other prefers to get there with minutes to spare.
Thankfully, our travel preferences weren’t that different or extreme, but we still took into account how we personally like to travel. Noriel will try to go to the gym every day, while I’m more relaxed about fitness on vacation. For me, sleeping in is more important.
So our itinerary always held space for the other to do their morning rituals before we came together for a shared breakfast. That way, neither of our preferences was more important than the other’s.
We also made plans with our individual needs in mind. For example, we’re both extroverts, but we still need time to recharge. So, we respected our needs for downtime by giving each other space after a packed day of activities.
He’d go for a swim while I read my book, or I’d have a quick nap while he watched TV. We packed a lot into our itinerary, so we had to make the most of the little time we had to rest.
Ultimately, I’m so glad we went on this trip
Chelsea Tobin
In the end, our eight-day adventure in Bali was a success.
Traveling together so early on in the relationship could’ve been a make-or-break situation — but with careful, mindful planning, it just became a perfect way to get to know each other better in a beautiful place.
It’s been a year since the trip, and we’re still going strong. This shared experience remains one of our favorite memories together, and we’re looking forward to more overseas trips in the future.
