My fiancé and I had planned our dream summer honeymoon: We’d explore South Africa’s beautiful Cape, driving along the picturesque Garden Route, before returning through the Kalahari Desert.
There was just one problem, though. First, we needed to get married — and we didn’t actually have a wedding date.
At the time, we were living in his hometown of Johannesburg, but we were eager to return to the United States and start our new life together as a married couple.
His October proposal, combined with the Southern Hemisphere’s December to February summer, meant we needed to move quickly if we wanted to keep our honeymoon plans intact.
Unsurprisingly, between vacations and friends’ weddings, all of our non-holiday summer weekends were already booked. We’d either need to pivot to a longer engagement or consider holding a non-weekend wedding.
Against my better judgment, we chose the latter and planned our ceremony for a Tuesday in January.
I was nervous to host a weekday wedding, but we somehow pulled it off
I worried that no one would come — after all, most weddings are held on Saturdays, some even on Fridays or Sundays.
Most people are unaccustomed to attending a weekday wedding, so I was surprised at the number of positive responses we received as the RSVPs began rolling in.
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Though this should have eased my anxiety, I feared people would say they were attending, but then something would come up, or they’d be tired from work, and many would cancel at the last minute.
I certainly didn’t believe that all 200 of the invitees who said they were coming would actually show up.
To ratchet up my stress level a bit more, we decided on a cocktail-hour wedding to save money, which led to more worrying that people wouldn’t understand we were serving light bites, not a full dinner.
After a full day’s work, there was a chance our guests could end up “hangry” at the reception.
Courtesy of Lynnette Lyons
Soon, it was the day of our wedding: Tuesday, January 19, 1988. Somehow, the day went off without a hitch.
We married poolside at my in-laws’ suburban home at 6:30 p.m. with all 200 RSVPs looking on.
The majority had come in office attire, straight from work, which was perfectly fine as we didn’t have a strict dress code. The lack of pressure to rush home and change helped create a more relaxed atmosphere and probably contributed to our high attendance rate.
After the ceremony, I saw guests spread out across the lawn, mingling among rented tables and chairs while holding cocktails, wineglasses, and plates piled with a dinner’s worth of hors d’oeuvres.
All in all, weekday weddings are all about managing expectations
Courtesy of Lynnette Lyons
Decades later, I’m still surprised that about 90% of the people we invited attended, and that the event went so smoothly. Even so, getting married in the middle of the week isn’t without its challenges.
Weekday ceremonies with a lot of out-of-towners are likely to see a lower guest turnout once you factor in things like PTO and travel time. Fortunately, most of our guests were local.
Couples should also be practical when choosing a dress code, as it might not be practical to expect guests to attend the event in formal attire if they’re arriving straight from the office.
Having a ceremony on most weekdays means understanding that guests may need to end their night early. After all, many will have work the next day.
But on the bright side, some of these limitations can result in a more relaxed, intimate experience with your closest family and friends. And, if budget is a concern, a Tuesday or Wednesday wedding can be significantly cheaper than one on a weekend or even a Friday.
Lastly, for those invited to a non-weekend ceremony, I suggest keeping an open mind.
You might feel like a wedding is the last place you want to be on a work night, but it could be a nice break. I honestly didn’t expect to see my guests enjoy themselves as much as they did.
When people ask what kind of wedding I had, I usually sum it up by saying, “My mom did tequila shots with my husband’s cousin, and the best man and maid of honor rounded out the evening with some hilarious table dancing.”
Not bad for a Tuesday night!
