Trainer Who Stopped Dieting, Over-Exercising, Is Now in Shape, Happy

• Anjuli Mack, a personal trainer, has struggled with her relationship with food and fitness.
• Her weight fluctuated because she would struggle to follow strict diets, then overeat.
• Mack, 31, has learned to eat and exercise in a way that works for her.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Anjuli Mack, a 31-year-old personal trainer based in New Zealand. The following has been edited for length and clarity.

When I first started lifting weights 13 years ago, I didn’t know what I was doing, but I knew I loved getting stronger. I would just pick a machine, like the leg extension, and do it for, say, one minute.

In the years since, my relationship with food and fitness has changed drastically. I’ve tried all sorts of fad diets, lost and gained weight, competed in bikini competitions, and become a qualified personal trainer.

However, it’s only in the last year or two that I’ve started to feel really at home in my body. I’m in shape, I feel strong, I eat a healthy diet but have chocolate most days, and don’t stress if I skip a workout.

I followed fad diets because I was body-shamed

I was first introduced to strength training as a teen and decided to try some boot camp-style workouts.

A few years later in 2012 when I went to Waikato University to study business, I joined the gym. I lifted heavy, doing what were then considered “guy” exercises, like bench presses, squats, and deadlifts. At the time, there were no other women in the weights room, but I loved lifting heavy things. I wasn’t thinking about how I looked at all.

I didn’t know anything about nutrition either so ate a lot.

One day, I overheard some girls talking about me. They said: “Why does she go to the gym so much? She doesn’t even look like she works out.”

That made me question myself. Why didn’t I have abs like fitness models?

That was the start of a couple of years of fad dieting. I tried everything: keto, “detox tea,” intermittent fasting, “clean eating,” calorie counting. I would try anything that I thought would make me lose weight and look fit. But I couldn’t stick to any of them and ended up bingeing on weekends, so I actually gained weight over time.

I was overtraining too, going to the gym two or three times a day. I pretended it was for stress relief when the receptionist commented on how much I was there.

I had an ‘all or nothing’ mindset

After a couple of years, I realized my relationship with food was terrible. I hired a nutritionist who helped me be more flexible while focusing on eating whole foods.

Around the same time, in 2014, I met my husband Ross at the gym. We were friends at first and he was studying health science. He taught me how to structure workouts and eat a more balanced diet, including explaining why we need carbs.

However, I still struggled with the “all or nothing” mentality.

After university, Ross and I went traveling for a few months and we ate a lot. I was the heaviest I had ever been. I wanted to get back on track and feel healthier, so I got restarted a gym routine but still struggled to stick to a calorie deficit.

Ross is a personal trainer and decided to compete in a bodybuilding show, which meant following a strict diet and workout plan. His transformation inspired me so, in 2017, I decided to enter a competition.

I hired a coach who gave me a one-page meal plan to follow for 16 weeks. I lost a lot of weight and felt great when I stepped onstage. But I hated dieting and found it so hard to stick to. I’d have extra spoonfuls of peanut butter because I was so hungry.

The competition was in May and by September I had gained all the weight back and more. I was binge eating, felt out of control, and cried most days.

I was embarrassed to go to the gym in case people gossiped about how much weight I had gained.

Getting shredded cost me my period

So I got a new fat loss coach, lost 11 pounds, and decided to compete again. My transformation photos started going viral, and I decided to qualify as a personal trainer so I could more confidently help all the women asking me for advice.

I competed in 2018 and twice in 2019, but I was way too lean and super hangry. It was too much for my body and I lost my period. I knew I needed to recover and take some time off.

In 2020 and 2021, I worked out at home, gained some weight, and my cycle came back.

In 2022, I decided to give competing one last try — it was my sixth show and I finally won and got my “pro” card. Crucially, I was much more flexible with my diet and had improved my relationship with food a lot.

I’ve gained 13 pounds and have a healthy relationship with food

My aim now is simply to maintain my physique and lifestyle. I can’t say never again for definite, but I’m pretty sure my competing days are over.

I’m really happy with where I am now. I’ve gained a healthy 13 pounds since the 2022 competition and I don’t want to go through the whole shredding and building cycle year after year. Being in maintenance means I’m far more sociable and see friends more too, I just keep an overall eye on my protein, fiber, and steps.

I feel sorry for what I put my younger self through, but the process taught me so much. Now I can relate to and help people in similar situations.

I have a healthy relationship with food, feel good in my body, and have reconnected with why I got into the gym in the first place — to have fun and enjoy getting stronger. And I feel I can maintain this for the rest of my life, which is the goal.