One week after my first date with my now-husband, I left for a five-week trip to Europe. He found out right off the bat that travel was a big part of who I am.
We took many weekend trips together, but a few years after we got married, I started a travel media company and could suddenly work from anywhere.
My husband works a typical 9-to-5 job as a project manager in the construction industry. He gets three weeks of vacation per year, and since I’m traveling at least once per month, he can’t always go with me.
While this lifestyle has its own challenges, there have been some unexpected benefits to our relationship.
Filling my cup helps me show up as a better spouse
You’ve probably heard the saying, “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” Well, travel fills my cup as nothing else does. As long as I don’t overcommit my travel schedule, which is a whole other story.
I come home from a trip excited, with many stories to tell, and ready to tackle the daily grind of home routines. Both my husband’s and my top love language is acts of service, so running my own business in an industry that I love gives me the flexibility and desire to show up in ways that matter to our relationship.
Sometimes that looks like happily taking care of regular chores, from cooking and cleaning to making sure the coffee is ready each morning. Other times, it’s something special like taking days off in December to hand-make Christmas gifts for his family.
Our communication skills had to develop quickly
Once I started traveling solo often, we realized that our communication styles are pretty different, and we had to make some compromises.
Courtesy of Anna Cook.
Communication wasn’t just important for solo travel safety, but also for feeling connected, especially when I started taking extended trips that could last anywhere from two to five weeks.
He was the type who never looked at his phone and left messages unanswered for days, while I liked to check in at least a few times a day.
I learned to consolidate messages or save everything for a daily phone call, while he learned that yes, it is important to acknowledge and respond to text messages from your wife.
We plan intentional time together when I’m home
I recognize this is easier since we don’t have kids, but while I’m home, I try to stick to planning one date night per week.
These don’t have to be expensive. For us, they’re often things like visiting our local secondhand bookstore or having a picnic at our nearby state park. It’s about making sure we’re getting enough quality time together, which is our second most important love language.
Time to pursue separate interests makes both of us happy
While we do enjoy a lot of the same activities, there are some things that my husband is absolutely not interested in that I want to do, and vice versa.
I love waking up to views of the water, while my husband has no interest in the beach unless he’s fishing. He could spend hours reading every word in a museum, while I’m good with hitting the highlights and moving on.
I try to visit places he wouldn’t enjoy on my solo trips and save the places that we both want to go for trips we can take together.
Obviously, this lifestyle isn’t for everyone, and our relationship isn’t perfect by any means, but it works for us, and that’s what matters.
