As my daughter prepared to go back to school this year, there was the usual business of buying school supplies, wondering about her new Biology teacher, and thinking about her birthday, which falls a few weeks after school starts.
One thing we didn’t have to worry about was getting back into a good sleep routine, because she still has a bedtime. Even in the summer. Even on weekends. Which might not sound that unusual, except she’s 16 years old, and I expect her to be in bed by 9.
Courtesy of Sarah E. White.
We still talk at bedtime
We didn’t plan to keep bedtime going this long; it just happened that we kept telling her it was bedtime, and she kept listening.
I know there are kids who would protest this, and family lifestyles that would not support it, but it works for us, and I’m grateful for that.
With the start of 11th grade, we’ve pushed bedtime to 9 p.m. Devices go away, we say goodnight, and I sit with her for a few minutes (sometimes more than a few) to give her time to talk about whatever she wants to talk about.
Sometimes the bedtime chatter is about the video game she’s playing or that video she watched about the history of Lunchables.
But sometimes it’s real talk, about homework or life worries. I know it makes me feel more connected to her, and I hope she feels the same way.
We have a routine
My daughter thrives on routine, not just at bedtime but throughout the day. When we’ve talked about potentially stopping the bedtime ritual, she says she could go to sleep without it, but she likes it for now.
Bedtime itself isn’t going anywhere. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, teens need 8 to 10 hours of sleep, and in a national sample, nearly 73 percent didn’t get enough on school nights.
High school is also the time when homework, extracurriculars, work, and other things might be keeping kids up later, even if they want to sleep more.
But not getting enough sleep can put them at risk for all sorts of issues, from poor attention and behavior problems to an increased risk of obesity and Type 2 diabetes, to mental health woes and increased risk of accidents. I’d like to avoid those outcomes.
It’s not for everyone, but we love it
I know a lot of teens and parents wouldn’t want or be able to have this kind of nighttime routine. And there’s probably something to be said for fostering independence in your teens by letting them decide when and how they go to bed.
But I also know that sleep is so important, so, as long as my daughter is willing to go to bed at a time that allows her to get the sleep she needs, we’re going to support that.
Courtesy of Sarah E. White.
Sure, there are days she has to stay up late to finish homework, or wants to stay up late because something special is happening, but knowing that most of the time she’ll be in bed by 9 is good for all of us.
Sticking to this bedtime gives her time to shut her brain down without devices, and enough sleep to make the morning more bearable. It gives my husband and me time to be alone together in the evening, which is so important for parents (and couples of all sorts).
And I hope it’s fostering good sleep habits that she’ll carry with her even when we’re not there to gather up the devices and sit with her in the dark.
This article is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult your qualified physician or healthcare provider.
