My mom has always been my best friend and role model. From bad haircuts to breakups, she always knows the right words to say and best advice to give (when asked).
I’m now 32 and Mom’s 65. Our relationship has matured into “walk-and-talk” fitness pals, a treasured travel team, and problem solvers for everything under the sun.
Together, we laugh hard and listen harder. I admire my mom’s confidence, patience, kindness, and wisdom, as well as the incredible life filled with love and community that she’s built for herself.
She has taught me so much over the years, and I still learn something new during our weekly visits. Here’s some of her advice that’s really stuck with me.
Your closest friends don’t need to live nearby — and staying in touch doesn’t have to be complicated
Now that I’m in my 30s, many of my hometown and college friends are scattered across the country. They’re buying homes, starting families, and building or changing careers.
On top of that, new commitments and responsibilities have made me feel like I have less time than ever to make plans with friends, espeiclaly ones who don’t live nearby.
Through it all, Mom has taught me not to wait for that “perfect” block of time to spend with the people you love. It will inevitably be more than a hot minute before schedules align and a planned hangout can happen.
Rather, small “thinking-of-you” moments, like sending a funny picture of a bad hair day or FaceTiming a friend while you’re cooking dinner, can go a long way.
Any time spent connecting — short or long — makes for a feel-good memory that can strengthen even the longest-distance relationships.
Nothing stays the same forever, so cherish the moments while you’re in them
Alexa Mellardo
My 20s were beyond amazing, and for a while, I thought they’d never end.
It feels like just yesterday that my college roommates and I moved into a small apartment in Boston. Weekends were filled with shopping and brunching on Newbury Street, and our nights out started at 10 p.m. (which is now my normal bedtime).
After graduating, adulting in New York City consisted of a brand-new Upper East Side apartment and my first full-time job in an office complete with pizza Fridays and regular happy hours.
But as Mom often reminds me, since nothing stays the same forever, it’s important to live every moment to its fullest and never take any time period for granted.
Each of these aforementioned phases, of course, did come to an end.
Fortunately, entering my 30s with a husband, home, and business of my own has been just as special, maybe even more so. And as much as I cherish the good times, I also try to embrace the bad ones — one day, they’ll be lessons to look back on and learn from.
The mundane moments in life can be the best ones
Another sound piece of advice from Mom is that the “unimportant” every-day moments in life create some of the best memories.
Though we’ve been on many trips, we’ve had some of our most meaningful connections just running errands or curling up on the couch to watch a chick flick.
Even gabbing in the car results in laughter, heart-to-heart convos, and new memories. On our most recent road trip to Lake Placid, we talked nonstop for four-and-a-half hours — and still didn’t cover everything we wanted to chat about.
Big parties and epic trips are great, but don’t forget to enjoy those simple day-to-day bits in between. I feel fortunate when I think of how I have 32 years of “mundane moments” to treasure and add to every week.
Life’s too short to take things personally
Alexa Mellardo
I’ve always veered on the side of being overly sensitive and I’m admitedly a chronic overthinker.
Unfortunately, not everyone I encounter each day is respectful and patient — some people don’t even practice basic manners. It can be difficult not to take something like a stranger letting the door swing in my face or a barista giving a curt response to heart.
As I’ve matured, though, I’ve learned to brush things off rather than dwell on them — and Mom taught me that you never know what baggage someone may be dealing with, so don’t make it yours.
As she often says, “Take a deep breath, and treat the buzzkill with a grain of salt.” Life is simply too short to let the attitude and actions of others bring you down.
