My husband and I took over four hours to file our taxes the first time we filed jointly. We each dreaded the task as single adults, but together it was somehow even more unbearable. Not only is there more paperwork to submit, but the vibe can turn tense — and anything but romantic — when it comes to dealing with our finances.
To mitigate this, we each gather our tax documents in advance. We learned the hard way that getting organized beforehand cuts our time spent sitting at the computer by literal hours. When we each take time to gather what we need to file, it only takes us about an hour to file online.
When we finally hit “submit,” we head to our yearly tradition to celebrate.
We hate doing our taxes, so we came up with a reward system
Having something to look forward to after filing really helps us focus on just getting it done with minimal anxiety.
The first few times we did our taxes this way, the reward was takeout from one of our favorite places and a movie night in with “Gilmore Girls”- level treats.
This is not only our ideal date night, but it’s also nostalgic as we started dating during the pandemic. All of our first dates involved a nice takeout dinner or a movie night at one of our places, so our tax reward dates remind us of those times.
This year looked a bit different
I am no longer working full-time due to health issues this year, and so our joint income has been slashed in half. Couple that with the rising cost of nearly everything, and things have gotten tight for us.
We’ve had to reexamine our budget periodically and cut costs where we can. We’ve saved the most money by hardly ever eating out.
That’s why I wanted our reward to look a bit different this year. Instead of takeout, I immediately thought of all the things I haven’t been getting from the grocery store because we don’t “need” them. I wanted the Talenti gelato I never let myself buy. I was also craving my two favorite items from the Publix bakery: guava pastelitos and black-and-white cookies.
My husband, on the other hand, just wanted to make his favorite comfort meal: tacos. After getting stressed out during the filing process, I think the tacos helped us both re-regulate afterward. We eat tacos almost every week, so it wasn’t out of the norm. But I found it really interesting that after cutting back on eating out this year, we’ve each really grown to prefer our home cooking, so much so that my husband’s own tacos were his reward.
We also had to reframe the task of filing our taxes
No matter what our return was this year, we decided beforehand to put it toward the summer vacation we’re taking anyway. This helped us feel like we’re getting a “free” trip, but it also removes any expectation from our return. Whether it’s great this year or not, looking at it ahead of time as a coupon for our summer vacation removes any disappointment if the return is awful, as well as any guilt about the cost of our trip.
Based on my initial experience, filing taxes with a spouse can really suck the love out of a room. Knowing this was something we’d have to go through each year, I felt that we’d benefit from a survival plan.
Our predetermined reward system helps separate the chore of taxes from our marriage and makes us a more effective team.
I wouldn’t say our system is romantic, but it definitely helps in the big picture of our relationship.
