I wasn’t supposed to go alone.
My 21-year-old daughter and I had planned to travel to the Turks & Caicos together for a hotel’s grand reopening. To heighten the fun, we were going to do a nostalgia trip by recreating photos from earlier visits. I even downloaded the old photos to my phone.
The flight was booked, her bags were packed, and then she realized she had left her passport in her New York City apartment. We were flying out of Boston and tried to figure out a way to get it in time, but it just wasn’t possible.
I decided to leave her behind and go solo.
Making the decision
Since this was a grand opening, changing the trip plans wasn’t an option. If it hadn’t been tied to an event, I probably would’ve rescheduled.
I felt bad about going without her, especially since she was so excited to see all the changes to the resort she had been going to since she was only a year old.
But I was also excited for the trip down memory lane, even if that meant going without her.
This isn’t the first time she’s forgotten something
In high school, I sometimes brought her forgotten Chromebook, water bottle, or tennis gear.
It became such an issue that I wrote an article about it for The New York Times. The main takeaway from the experts was that, instead of letting forgetful kids suffer, help them develop strategies so it doesn’t happen again.
She has improved over the years, and she even studied abroad in Rome, so she understands the importance of a passport. While there, she carried it with her everywhere, similar to a driver’s license.
I only gave her one reminder to pack the passport, but now I’m wondering if I should’ve provided a few more since I missed having her on the trip with me.
Making the best of the situation
Out of everyone in my family (husband, son, and youngest daughter), my oldest daughter loves to travel the most. We have gone on many trips just the two of us, so even though I wanted to share everything about my trip, I wasn’t sure if I should. I tested it when I first got there by asking if she wanted to see the room through FaceTime.
She agreed and seemed excited about it, but I could also see her disappointment, especially since the room was incredible. After that, I held back a little.
I tried to make the most of my time there. I even went ahead with the nostalgia trip we’d planned, taking pictures at various spots around the resort.
Also, it turns out that telling strangers about your daughter’s forgotten passport is a great way to start a conversation. Not only did it provide an opportunity to be approachable, but I also soon learned that many people have their own stories about forgotten or expired passports.
One woman shared that she didn’t realize her passport had expired until she got to the airport, when the customs agent told her. At least my daughter found out before we left. The rest of her family went without her, too, and I admit that helped me feel a little better.
I spent time with other solo travelers who I probably wouldn’t have talked to if my kid had been there. I also did things like go on a catamaran that she hadn’t seemed interested in before the trip.
By the end, I wasn’t feeling guilty anymore. Instead, I wanted to tell her about it.
Tips for passport-related issues
When I got home, my daughter was still really upset about forgetting her passport. I tried to focus on ways to prevent this from happening again. Since it’s clearly a common issue, I figured some strategies were worth sharing.
For example, I told her she needs to be a frequent expiration-date checker. It helps to tie this to a specific milestone, like your birthday or New Year’s Day. She could also check it the moment she books a trip, but if it’s already expired, that might be too late.
I also always keep my passport in the exact same spot at home, inside a dedicated travel case, so there’s never a frantic search on travel day.
I’ve been traveling with a passport since my 20s. I am a fan of bright yellow sticky notes, and I still place them on my desk before a trip. A phone reminder works too, but phones malfunction; sticky notes don’t.
After I shared these tips, I told her, “Look on the bright side, you’re only 21, and I can guarantee you’ll never forget your passport again.”
Now, she’s ready to plan the next trip, and hopefully this time she remembers to bring her passport — and her mother.
