- My boyfriend and I recently decided to adopt a cat.
- We have been discussing our future recently and were excited to share more responsibility.
- Taking care of our cat together feels like it’s helping us prepare in case we decide to have kids.
My boyfriend and I adopted a cat to help us understand what it might feel like to take on more responsibility and mentally prepare for possibly having kids. So far, we’ve been doing a great job keeping plants in the apartment alive and cat-sitting for a few people in our neighborhood.
We talked casually about bringing a cat into our lives permanently, but we hadn’t gone to any shelters or even thought about what type of cat we wanted. Then, one day, I spotted a post in a local Facebook group from a man looking to rehome his 4-year-old black cat and willing to give the new owner everything they would need: his litter box, food, bowl, and carrier. It just felt right, and within minutes, my boyfriend and I decided this was the cat we wanted to take home.
When we adopted Marty, we knew we were taking on more responsibility
We researched the validity of the post through back-and-forth messaging, some social media research, and even a phone call with the man. He sent through vet records and everything looked right to us. We then confirmed that we had the space and resources to take on this cat, we picked him up and brought him to his forever home.
We were nervous at first; we didn’t know what he would be like or if he would even like us. We were also unsure how we would split responsibility. But regardless of all these things, suddenly, a black cat we named Marty was in our home and wanted to be fed, played with, and looked after.
Adopting our cat was a great test of how we would handle a larger responsibility, like having kids, but on a smaller scale. Who would get up at 5:30 in the morning when he’s hungry? Who cleans the litter box? Who will schedule all the vet appointments? It’s been a balancing act, a test, and a significant period of enlightenment on how great of a partner my boyfriend is.
Taking care of Marty is a two-person job, and I’m glad to be with someone who truly feels like a partner in every aspect of care and responsibility. We divide up responsibility when it comes to who feeds him in the morning and at night, which happened naturally as we took in everything that needed to get done.
Usually, whoever leaves to go into the office for work first will feed him in the morning, and whoever works from home will feed him in the afternoon. We take turns washing his dishes and water bowl; we both play with him and scoop his litter box. When we go on vacation, we coordinate with our sitter and ensure he’s being looked after.
With a cat in our lives, more planning needs to happen than before. Everything requires more coordination, looking at schedules, and ensuring we don’t leave Marty alone for too long. We must work around his feeding schedules and disrupted sleep, as he sometimes wakes us up at 4 a.m. to ask for food.
We’re looking at it like a test run for having kids
Having a cat has taken our relationship to the next level, adding more responsibility and, naturally, more communication around what needs to be done to ensure he’s taken care of. Of course, something that helps distract from the responsibility is how cute and playful Marty is and how much fun he is to have around the apartment.
I know owning a cat is not the same thing as having kids. Cats are primarily self-sufficient; you can leave them alone for hours without worrying too much about what trouble they might get up to. While this is true, they also require more planning and thought that didn’t exist previously in our lives.
My boyfriend and I are both 28 and have discussed the possibility of having kids, what that might look like for our lives, and our future plans. While we aren’t in any rush, we’re thinking we’ll be ready in the next six years. As we gain experience caring for our cat, I feel good about the division of responsibilities we would have if we had kids, and what that might look like for us. In the meantime, we enjoy caring for our cat and spending every day with him.
