My 17-Year-Old Isn’t Excited About Getting His License, I Get It

The day my son turned 15, my brother pleaded with me to allow him to learn to drive in his Porsche along the winding backroads of upstate New York.

“Come on, what kid doesn’t want his first drive to be in a Porsche?” my brother said.

I relented because I knew what would happen, and sure enough, it did. My overly cautious son took the wheel and drove so slow, a tractor passed him.

That was the end of his time behind the wheel of the Porsche.

My son doesn’t feel a need to drive

Just two months shy of his 17th birthday, and with much cajoling and begging by me, my son finally agreed to take driving lessons. But he has been no rush after that first spin behind the wheel a few years ago.

It turns out, he’s not alone in his hesitation. The number of 16-year-olds with driver’s licenses in 1993, when I was in high school with my license proudly in hand, was around 1.4 million, according to data from the Federal Highway Administration. In 2023, that number dropped to roughly 1.1 million.

A lot has changed since the ’90s. Perhaps one of the most significant is the advancement of technology. Long gone are the days of hanging out with friends at the mall. Now, teens can just turn to texting or chatting on Discord to keep in touch. They can play video games online, together.

There’s really no need to go anywhere, but if they do have to go out, they can simply summon an Uber or a Lyft with the touch of a button. In May 2023, Uber introduced accounts for teens which allows teens 13 to 17 to create their own accounts under parental supervision.

Driving seems scarier these days

Perhaps most jarring is the increase in road rage, particularly where we live in Texas. Thanks to social media broadcasting these incidents, my son has been barraged with stories and images of people taking extreme actions for the most minor of offenses. In one high-profile case, a 17-year-old died after being shot during a road rage incident after leaving an Astros game in 2021. That case in particular hit home for both of us.

“There are so many nut jobs out there,” my son said to me.

These days, I see more “Student Driver” stickers while I’m on the road, undoubtedly a plea for patience.

But patience only gets you so far, especially when dealing with distracted drivers, yet one more risk my son has pointed out in his hesitation to drive. The number of times we’ve almost gotten sideswiped or rear-ended by people staring at their phones are too many to count.

I empowered him to feel comfortable

Ultimately, I figured the best way to help my son overcome his fear of driving was to empower him with knowledge and a sense of control. I enrolled him in driving lessons despite his hesitancy.

For three weeks, he went to driving school, Monday through Thursday, for two hours each session. As he gained more experience behind the wheel, his fear subsided, but only somewhat. He says he doesn’t trust his instructor’s driving style and now chooses to learn from my husband instead. More of his friends are learning to drive too, nudged by their equally worn-out parents.

He finally received his driving permit a few weeks ago, but he’s in no hurry to get his license. As frustrating as it is being his chauffeur, I’m not going to push him. I’ll let him embrace this journey on his own terms.