In February, a driver sideswiped me on a snowy Northern Colorado road, totaling my car. Four weeks later, my employer ended my full-time contract without notice.
The double blow not only wiped out my salary but, without a car, I also couldn’t continue my side gig delivering for Instacart. With no savings to pay rent — or anything else — I gave my apartment complex a 30-day notice to avoid eviction.
This is how I ended up back in New Jersey, the state where I lived for the first third of my life, living with family yet again.
I knew I’d need help to get back on my feet
When I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in 2020 at 51, I had to force myself to understand two important facts. First, emotional and economic stability are crucial to maintaining a healthy mental state for myself. Second, I couldn’t force control over my life. I had to let circumstances unfold while I did my best to move forward.
I decided to ask my younger brother if I could stay with him, his wife, and his tween daughter in their three-bedroom home in New Jersey, 2,000 miles away, to restart my life from scratch. Fortunately, he was able to prepare a space for me.
I started a GoFundMe to help get myself across the country
The move began with a leap of faith: I started a GoFundMe campaign. The $1,000 I raised covered a $400 Airbnb in Colorado when my lease ended, the first month of a storage unit, and a one-way flight to JFK Airport. This left $340 for transportation from Queens, New York, to New Jersey and another rented room while my brother readied his house.
Knowing the struggles I’d had with money after my diagnosis, my brother told me I could stay with him as long as I actively looked for jobs and freelance opportunities. He wanted me to pay down my debts, raise my credit score, and build up savings with funds to spare.
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Moving in with my brother and his family lifted an enormous financial burden off of me. Before living with them, my expenses were $4,000 each month, including $1,600 for rent. Now, after groceries, small business expenses, and public transportation fees, I’m spending about $350 each month, and I have slashed my expenses by roughly 90%.
Thanks to this reduction, I could focus on the job hunt full-time.
I’m working hard to get where I want to be
Even before I moved in, I built a daily routine of meditation, exercise, and reading. I invested in a ChatGPT subscription that costs me $20 each month to sharpen my résumé and help me master budgeting. Additionally, I purchased a Canva plan for $15 each month to help me design print-on-demand material. While I haven’t made money on the latter yet, I’m in a good place with several designs.
Mentally, I’ve learned how to live with family again while finding private moments and spaces to decompress. I’ve also worked on my patience. Whenever I feel like the entire world is ghosting me, I remind myself that it takes time to build a presence online and to build connections with people in person.
If dread about money creeps in, I focus on what I can control. For example, in those moments, instead of letting it get to me, I pitch article ideas, submit stories and poems, or focus my energies on creating new print-on-demand designs. I also work with AI to find legitimate surveys and microtask sites to earn income.
I also put energy into creating a master financial plan, and even when I have extra money, I keep my discretionary expenses to a minimum.
I’ve learned that it’s OK to start over at any age
In the first week of July, I began a full-time technical writer role for a Northeastern bank where the pay matches my nearly three decades of experience. It’s a position I probably wouldn’t have secured if I’d stayed in Colorado.
I don’t plan to move into a place of my own until the end of the year. I have to straighten out my finances first and establish a savings account before I consider looking for an apartment or a rented room. My brother is happy I’ve found a position, but knows it’s going to take time to knock out my debts to turn things around.
This unexpected route proved to me that the most practical fixes appear when you swallow pride, stay calm, and act on what you can control. The turnaround isn’t instant, but the results are worth the wait.
