- My parents told me to study something that would pay enough to support myself.
- No one told me to choose a job I couldn’t live without.
- I appreciate the advice they gave me, but I want to encourage my kids to follow their passions.
Recently, my creative 13-year-old told me he wanted to be a TV screenwriter and director. When he was younger, he entertained the idea of becoming a doctor like his father or majoring in finance and working with stocks.
“Those ideas sounded great for a little while, but I can’t stop thinking about this one,” he said with a twinkle in his eyes. He’s been mentioning this on and off for some time, but after watching “The Office” — a favorite show of mine and my husband that I reluctantly let him watch despite the crude humor — he was sure this is what he was meant to do.
And who am I to tell him he can’t?
I’m giving my kids different career advice than what I got
As we talked about his aspirations, he asked, “Do you think I have what it takes?” Suddenly, I heard the voices of every adult from my childhood: “Writing is a hobby, not a career. It won’t pay the bills.”
I told him he was very creative and believed he had what it took to succeed. That was the truth. But there was more to my answer than simply persuading him to put all his efforts into that one dream.
When it came time for me to apply to college, my parents gave me two pieces of advice: Choose a career that pays enough for you to support yourself AND one that will always have job vacancies.
It was constructive guidance — and I’ll pass this wisdom on to my own kids — but perhaps they missed one small detail.
At the time, I knew that English and science were the two subjects I was most interested in. I also enjoyed working with children, and the idea of working in a school appealed to me. So, when my mother suggested speech-language pathology as a potential career, it seemed like the perfect fit. There was a surge in jobs for speech-language pathologists (SLPs) in 2001, when I began college and enrolled in the course that introduced the major.
I loved writing, but no one said to me, “Choose the job you can’t live without.” That was the advice I never got. And so, I let writing slip away into the dust of my childhood.
I had to parent while living with a chronic illness
After earning my master’s degree, I worked in the field as an SLP in an elementary school for a few years until my son was born. It wasn’t hard to say bye to an over-filled caseload and endless paperwork, but I did eventually miss feeling like a professional.
Instead of khakis and a blouse, I wore pajamas or leggings on a good day. I was Mom — and a woman searching for a diagnosis that I eventually discovered was multiple sclerosis — and life was now filled with many firsts, both wonderful motherly firsts, and frightening disease-worsening firsts.
I intended to go back to work when my younger son was in full-day school, but between mothering and living with a chronic illness, my inner creativity won.
I started writing again
I started slowly. At first, I simply wanted to connect with others who were also living with an undiagnosed disease. When I finally received my diagnosis, I then hoped to be an advocate for those who remained undiagnosed as well as the MS community, so I continued writing with these goals in mind. But, later, as my publications widened, I wanted to branch out — to write about parenting, politics that impacted my family’s life, and what I thought about the recent episode of my favorite TV show. I wanted to write it all.
Without a degree in journalism, I had a lot of homework to do. I joined writer’s groups on social media and read about how to send editors pitches that get noticed. Over time, I became accustomed to radio silence and rejections from editors. A lot of behind-the-scenes research eventually enabled me to get my foot in the door. But it wasn’t easy.
On a whim, I emailed an editor at a publication I aspired to see my name in. Like any enthusiastic creator with a goal, I sent a draft of an essay I’d been working on. It was rejected. All in the same day.
Five years later I landed my first essay in that publication. Often, I wonder how I found success in an industry that so few make it in. Then I remember writing gives me the twinkle I see in my son’s eyes when he talks about screenwriting — that’s why I believe he also has what it takes.
I’m thankful I have a degree to fall back on if needed
My parents gave me good advice before I left for college. I’m not breaking the bank as a freelance writer. But, because of their guidance, I have a degree to fall back on should I need it, and I’ll never regret having that safety net.
I believe there’s more to convey to children than choosing a career solely based on pay and job availability. Like any parent, I want my children to live comfortably and with job security, but I also want them to pursue the career they can’t live without — because that’s what life is all about. If my children’s eyes light up when they talk about a career with a low success rate, I’ll urge them to follow their dreams with an alternative plan in place.
I’m honest with my son about how few screenwriters are successful, but I’m also advising him to pursue what he can’t live without because I want him to wake up every day knowing what it feels like to love what you do. Having a plan B is key.
“A hobby can be a career.” And with those words, I gave my son the hope I’d never received.
