- A single mom was relieved for the pay increase and expected stability that came with a federal job.
- Now, she’s grappling with an RTO order and job instability.
- She plans to nearly double the amount she’s spending on day care when she returns to work full-time.
This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with a federal worker who requested anonymity to speak freely. Her identity and employment were verified by Business Insider. This story has been edited for length and clarity.
I’m a single mom and I was recently hired as a remote-restricted federal employee, which means I’m within the 50-mile radius of an office.
I’ve always been remote. I like it because I don’t have to cram everything into this very small window. I get to get my kids to their activities without making them feel stressed out or stressing myself out — but I would have taken this job if it wasn’t fully remote, based on the salary bump. It’s worth it.
I’ve always been a proponent of public service. Somehow I ended up working for the American people.
I saw it as the goal — and I was relieved. A federal job means a pension and really good benefits. If you’re a high performer, there’s an easy path to continue working your way up. It’s not the highest salary that you can possibly get, but you work with really great people who want to do really good things for this country.
I worked so hard last year. In the last four months of the year, I got the house in my name, a new car to better afford the monthly car payments — and then this job, which was a huge raise for me.
Finally, I was going to have something stable for me and my children. In 2025, I just wanted to acclimate, rest, and enjoy what I finally got.
Then, my agency recently received our return-to-office guidelines.
We’re expected to return in the next couple of months.
Since my position is covered by a collective bargaining unit, I’m waiting on my specific return date, but the expectation is I’ll be returning full-time in person.
In addition to the RTO order, my agency lost thousands of workers between the deferred resignation program and the termination of probationary employees.
Most probationary employees on my team were terminated. I don’t know why I wasn’t. I have theories, but they’re really just that.
I won’t get a break for a long time
I have two children. My youngest goes to day care but will start school in the fall. My oldest is in school but usually stays home for the summer.
I have my kids five nights a week and they’re in a lot of activities. One of them recently started competitive sports and it’s essentially become their identity. Both of my children see their friends at their activities, they have their teachers — it’s an outlet for them. It keeps their lives busy and they don’t have to worry about the small stuff.
Keeping things as normal as possible is very important to me, and I felt like the activities helped the transition with the divorce.
Once day care was done at the end of the summer, I had a deal with their father that he would start splitting activities 50/50. Until then, I’m essentially footing the bill for their activities, which is thousands of dollars out of pocket.
I went into a lot of debt just from our first year of competitive sports. So, I was excited not to have to worry about that — but with how much it would cost to send them to before and after school care, it’s essentially the same amount we’re paying weekly now for my one child to go to day care. So we wouldn’t get a break for a really long time.
The earliest I can bring my kids to day care is 6:30 a.m. So I would have to wake them up at 5:45 a.m., drop them off at 6:30 a.m., get to work by 7:15 a.m., leave work by 3:15 p.m., pick them up at 4:15 p.m., and get them to the earliest activity at 4:30 p.m. My commute is 45 minutes to an hour. I might struggle with getting them to their activities on time, especially because their activities may change to 4 p.m.
I’m also worried about them being able to perform academically or in their activities if they don’t get enough sleep. With their activities, sometimes they don’t get to bed until almost 9:00 p.m. and they’re very young. They easily sleep 10-hour nights at least.
I emailed day care to figure out what the fees would be to send my oldest back to before and after school care. I also contacted a family friend to see if she would be open to taking care of the kids, and she offered a much cheaper rate. She’s out of the school district though, so that’s only an option during the summer.
Right now I pay $326 a week for my one child to go to day care. We were anticipating that going down to $0 once they started school in August. Day care during the school year for both kids would be $479 a week. If we had to do day care full time in the summer for both kids it would be $619 a week. Once both kids are in school in August it will be $323 a week.
The RTO mandate is hard, but at this point, the biggest challenge is job stability and making sure I can provide for my children after my ex-husband and I separated in 2023.
I worked so hard to find a way to keep my kids’ lives normal. If I lost my job, it would be devastating to lose that income.
