I’m 40, and One of My Best Friends Is 97

In 2020, I met my friend Bryan Hipwell in a bakery. He struck up a conversation, and I asked him to join me for a coffee.

Bryan is a great conversationalist and was interesting to talk to; I knew instantly that he was my kind of person. As our morning tea came to an end, I found myself asking for his phone number so that we could catch up again.

From there, a beautiful friendship blossomed. We’ve now been friends for five years, and despite the age difference between us — I’m now 40 and Bryan just turned 97 — Bryan remains one of my favorite friends.

Over these five years, I’ve realized just how many things I enjoy about being friends with someone who is 57 years my senior, but if I were to narrow it down, here are the highlights.

He’s never distracted on his phone

When I hang out with Bryan, he is completely present and engaged in our conversations. I absolutely love that about him.

Some of my other friends check their phones or Apple Watches constantly when we’re together. I get that people have lives and commitments, but I like the way Bryan gives me his full attention, and vice versa.

Don’t get me wrong — Bryan is very tech-savvy. He texts me frequently, is an avid user of GIFs, and regularly surfs the internet to research the book he’s writing or topics that interest him. But technology doesn’t seem to consume him or encroach on conversations the way it does with people of my generation.

His stories give me an insight into another era

Getting together with Bryan is like travelling back in time to another world.

Bryan was born in the 1920s and has lived an incredible life. When he recounts stories of his earlier years, he provides a firsthand perspective on everything from what it was like to live through the war years, to the fun his generation had at public dances in the 1940s.

These kinds of life experiences are so different from my own, and I love that Bryan’s stories give me a glimpse into the past.

I’m constantly learning from him

Bryan is always up to speed with the latest current affairs, and has an incredible general knowledge. Our conversations are often rich and varied, and inevitably, I end up learning something new.

More than that, I feel like our friendship has taught me so much about life and about what is actually important. To value experiences over material things and to tread your own path. To laugh often and not sweat the small stuff.

He’s shown me a different definition of success

Bryan has lived his life on his own terms, and never felt any pressure to fit into a mold. He didn’t work a 9-to-5 job for his whole career. Instead, he changed jobs every few years and lived all over Australia.

Over the course of our friendship, he has shown me that there are many different definitions of how to live a successful, fulfilling life. For some people, it’s about material wealth and status. However, for people like Bryan, happiness and success stem from continuous change and growth, as well as engaging in various adventures and new experiences.

He’s calming and wise

At 97, Bryan is in a different phase of life than I am. He doesn’t have a mortgage to pay off, school choices to worry about, or work-related dramas to contend with. When I spend time with him, it’s clear he is content with where he’s at in life.

For those reasons, I find Bryan really calming to be around. Often, he gives me a much-needed dose of perspective when life gets me down.

If ever I have a problem to work through, he’s happy to listen and pass on his wisdom. And best of all, his advice comes from a place of knowing — with a lifetime of experience backing his opinion.

He reminds me that age is just a number

Most of the time, I forget that there’s a 57-year age difference between Bryan and me. He often jokes that “the bod is 97, but the mind is 49.”

At the end of the day, age is just a number. If you’re looking for a stimulating conversation and a friendship that adds value to your life, I highly recommend finding a friend like Bryan. Often, older people are overlooked by society, but they have so much to offer.

I’m so grateful for all the lessons he has taught me, and for his friendship. My life is so much richer because of it.