I’ve sent four kids — my son and three stepchildren — to college, so I thought I’d experienced almost everything in this process: campus visits, move-in and move-out, loans, roommate issues, and family weekends.
As my youngest kid prepares for college, I thought there wouldn’t be many new experiences for me, but I was wrong.
My final child (who uses they/them pronouns) plans to attend a school far from home, which has offered me a totally different experience.
A customized campus visit was the most useful
My kids’ first college visit wasn’t until November of their senior year, so we had to make the most of it when visiting schools far away.
One school offered the option of a customized individual visit —something I never experienced with my other children.
We had a group campus tour, met with admissions, took a personal tour of the theatre department, and met with the department head for their major.
It was the most productive day we spent on campus.
We started the pro-con list at an Admitted Student’s Day
Over Spring Break, we attended an Admitted Students Day at a school not far from home. Most schools offer this event specifically for high school seniors accepted to the school in the winter or early spring, when the May 1 decision deadline is looming.
There were panels with students and faculty, as well as an academic and activities fair. My child sat in on a class, and I had a parent session on the job market and post-graduation career resources.
I don’t remember having the option of Admitted Students’ Days with my older kids, but this was incredibly helpful, providing the information needed for making the decision to commit.
During lunch on campus — after watching multiple kids commit to the school and the faculty’s ensuing celebrations — the gravity of needing to make a choice soon hit my kid.
While I had been more hands-off in the application process, that day my child and I sat next to each other in the school’s cafeteria, their college spreadsheet pulled up on my phone. We talked about their top criteria and the schools on the list, and we completed their pro/con list.
The financial aid review process saved us thousands
Prior to this year, I had never heard of a Financial Aid Review. My students’ top two choices both offered this option.
The process took about five minutes to submit an online form along with proof of their financial aid offers — scholarships, grants, and loans — from other schools.
In early April, both of their top choices responded, offering additional grants.
This not only helped get the costs of their top three very different schools within $3,000 a year of each other, but it was also a confidence boost for my kid.
This time, college orientation was 2.5 days for students and parents
With the financial aid piece settled, my kid could make their choice. After a lot of thinking, seeking opinions, and realizing they really want a new experience, they chose the school that is six hours away — the farthest any of my children has gone.
This was the school that gave the customized campus visit, and now that I knew they would be going to college two states away, I had a whole new list of questions.
My previous college orientation experiences have usually been one very packed day of driving and cramming in as much information as possible. Maybe it’s because the school is fairly remote and most students are 3+ hours from home, but this university put a lot of thought and care into the program. This orientation was 2.5 days of helpful, informative, and comforting sessions for students and parents.
While I stayed in a hotel, my child stayed in a dorm on campus. Orientation started with parents and students together, but by the end of the first day, we had to say our good-byes. It was like taking that first baby step to the much bigger goodbye coming in the fall.
My kid had packed days of academic and housing workshops, advisor meetings, and ice cream socials. I learned about Wellbeing Resources, academics, housing, and finances.
On the last day, I had two emotional sessions, the faculty warned, which made most parents cry — Supporting Your Student and Student Issues. We talked about what to do if your student gets lonely or is struggling, the child-sized gap in your life, and what the new normal is. Yep, I cried.
I felt more comfortable leaving my kid since I understood this college
At the end of orientation, my kid was exhausted and excited. We now knew the campus and building names, important dates, and had tips on everything from packing a plunger to navigating FERPA and nailing down plans for them to come home for Thanksgiving.
Now I feel peace of mind in sending them almost six hours, the furthest by far of any of our kids, away to college.
