I started paying my daughter for chores when she was 5.
Having outgrown a star reward chart and having ticked off the tasks needed to get ready for school, we introduced chores as a logical next step.
Every week, my daughter has a small list of jobs. So far, they’ve included feeding our cat, making her bed, mopping the kitchen floor, and setting the table for dinner.
When these chores are completed, she gets paid every Saturday. Her earnings total £2, or $2.70 a week, now going into her own prepaid debit card account.
It might not sound like much, but the money soon adds up.
She can choose what to buy with her money
A few cents are automatically donated to a children’s charity, and the rest goes to her savings. Every few weeks, she’ll decide to buy something and take her debit card to pay for it when we are out shopping.
It’s her money. So I have to bite my tongue when she chooses yet another stuffed toy or a ukulele.
Ask my daughter what she likes about chores, and the answer is inevitably “getting paid.” But as a parent, I can see the benefits go far deeper.
Completing her tasks — even when it’s tricky because of a tangled blanket or she’s tired at the end of the day — gives her a tangible sense of a job well done. It’s boosted her independence and sense of being a capable, integral part of a team.
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She will now offer to help with other things, too, and I give her opportunities to earn more by helping when I work at events on weekends.
When we go into stores, it’s wonderful to see her confidently interacting with the cashier and using her debit card. Of course, she doesn’t go without treats from her family. But there’s something especially satisfying about purchasing your own little luxuries.
You are never too young to learn about money management
I hope earning, budgeting, saving, and donating will lay a foundation for her to make solid financial decisions in the future. When I see her neatly made pink bed, with stuffed animals arranged just so on the pillow, my heart almost bursts with pride.
Despite the benefits, this approach is not always easy.
Yes, my daughter needs reminding about her chores. She’s 6, not a robot. And yes, she does sometimes complain about getting out the mop.
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I was expecting that reaction. But I wasn’t expecting the concept of a chore list to be so controversial among other parents. When I’ve brought it up — usually during small talk at children’s birthday parties — most people are shocked.
Some parents say their children simply wouldn’t complete the tasks if asked. Even with payment. Others have said they don’t believe it, or that little kids should be kids, without any responsibilities.
That’s where I, respectfully, will always disagree.
When grown adults can’t make a cup of herbal tea — Love Island’s Tommy Fury, I am looking at you — and college students still take their washing home to mom, life skills are crucial.
It’s on us as parents to teach our children how to be fully rounded grown ups, while knowing they can always come to us for support.
Her chore list is evolving
At home, we’re already planning how to evolve our chore list.
My daughter has suggested adding sweeping and washing dishes to the rotation. In time, I’d love for her to make simple meals. Whatever we decide, the chores need to safely challenge her as she grows, and teach skills that will help her thrive independently.
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I have a friend who, as a teenager, cleaned the house instead of having a weekend job. She made a decent allowance, and her hardworking mom came home to a neat house. It was a win-win for everyone.
In a world where the relentless impact of the mental load, predominantly for women, is only just starting to be said, why wouldn’t we want to teach the next generation how to contribute?
One tiny chore at a time.
