- I moved from Russia to the US as a teen for college and loved Southern culture.
- When I became a mother, I mixed my Russian culture with Southern ideals.
- It wasn’t until I became a single mother that I saw how great the South truly is.
It was the summer of 1994. I was only 19 and leaving Russia to start college in America. I grew up in the most amazing family that loved art, culture, and cooking.
Sunday brunches, fun Friday dinners with cousins, and dance parties at my grandmother’s house after a big meal were always a big hit. My family has been there for me at every school event, dance recital, theater production, and math competition. They threw me a big surprise party and invited my friends and family to send me to America.
A few days later, I began my journey to the US. After almost 10 hours of travel, I landed in New York. My next stop was Nashville, a land of country music, the best church potluck meals in the South, and high humidity.
It did not take long to dive into the charming southern culture. The little town in western Tennessee — Henderson — where I went to college was everything I thought it would be.
The people I met there shaped me into the mother I am today, with old-fashioned values and a pantry room full of southern cooking recipe books — but I never forgot my Russian roots.
My parenting became a mix of Russian culture and Southern ideals
Like many girls in the 90s, I married young at the age of 21 in a small church outside Nashville. By the time I turned 30, I was a mom of two amazing sons.
My life was more than baking cornbread and biscuits and serving sweet tea for Sunday lunches. I embraced my upbringing and was quite excited to introduce my Russian traditions, which had been passed from my grandparents to my parents.
Being a Russian mom to me meant staying home and raising my kids. It meant throwing big birthday parties and inviting all your adult Russian friends and their kids. Being a Russian parent was about teaching my kids about my home country’s cuisine and accepting that they might not like it. It meant teaching my kids everything about Russian art, music, and books — just how my mom raised me.
Even though I left my parents and everything I knew to start a new life in America, I took a piece of my heart with me to America.
Still, I wanted to be a perfect Southern Mom. After 20 years of living in the US, I learned to speak English with a little drawl, make cornbread and chili for potluck meals, and bake homemade cookies. I eventually mastered the art of Southern hospitality, kids’ sleepovers, and pizza nights.
I still took my kids to church because everyone in the South seemingly went to church on Sunday.
Sometimes, I felt like a Russian soul operating in the body of an American Southern mother.
Going through a divorce showed me a new side of the South
Just before Christmas in 2014, I became a single divorced mom and started my life over again in Nashville. I was overwhelmed. I had to adjust my lifestyle, thinking, and career choices.
I had to become the most fearless mother. I also had to figure out how to continue living my life as if nothing had changed so my kids could weather the storm.
Thankfully, the community I built in Tennessee helped me along the way. That’s when I learned the Southern way of welcoming people was more than an accent and sharing a recipe. Some people truly opened their hearts to me and helped me care for my children independently. They were there for me. They helped my family and me through a challenging time.
That’s when I saw the real soul of the South.
After 20 years of living in America, I proudly carry the title of a perfect Southern Mom, but when I became a single mother, I finally learned what it meant to be a true Southerner.
