I Moved Back to Hometown After Living in Dozens of Cities; Truly Happy

I spent most of my life moving, never living in a single place for more than a few years. In fact, I attended five different elementary schools, each in a different part of the globe.

When I tell people how often I’ve moved, many assume one of my parents was in the military. However, each move was voluntary, as my parents are Chinese immigrants who left the motherland in search of better opportunities in America.

I spent my childhood in several different cities

I was born in Nanjing, China, where I lived until I was 5. We moved for the first time after my dad was accepted into a Ph.D. program in San Juan, Puerto Rico, which he mistook for an American state.

I immediately fell in love with the city’s turquoise beaches and creamy flans. However, I had to white-knuckle my way through kindergarten because I knew neither Spanish nor English — a frustration that left me silent and sullen most school days.

After a year in Puerto Rico, my dad decided to pursue his postdoctoral fellowship, this time in Ames, Iowa. The transition from spending long Caribbean days at Catholic school to attending public school in a small Midwestern town surrounded by cornfields was a culture shock, albeit not an unwelcome one.

Being the only Asian kid at school meant that my classmates couldn’t pronounce my name and questioned everything about me, from what I had for dinner to whether my black hair was real. But to this day, Iowans remain the nicest folks I’ve ever met.

We stayed for nearly two years, just long enough to make my first American friend and be heartbroken when my dad’s fellowship ended, forcing us to move once again.

I spent a longer stretch of two-and-a-half years in College Station, Texas, where my dad found another postdoctoral position at Texas A&M.

After spending most of our time renting apartments and student housing, my folks could finally afford their first house there, a little duplex with a gooseberry tree. However, I was once again the sole Asian student in school, and I longed for a place where I felt like I belonged.

Our time there was cut short when my dad’s postdoctoral position wasn’t renewed, and we had to move again — this time, to California for my mom’s new job.

I spent my formative years in California

Next, we settled in Torrance, a beachside suburb in Southern California, where I spent all of middle and high school. Moving here was a game changer: it had glorious beaches, people I could call friends, and perfect weather to boot.

Plus, Torrance was much more diverse than other places we lived. I finally felt at home because it was the first place (outside China) where I didn’t have to look for fellow Asians or assess the likelihood that my ethnicity was going to be a liability.

In my high school, the homecoming queen and captain of the football team were both Asian.

I had groups of friends at church and in school, and we bonded over AP classes and checking out local boba shops. Being settled in one place with people I loved was a thrill.

College and graduate school led me to live in different parts of the state: the Bay Area, where I went to UC Berkeley for undergrad, and the Central Coast, where I went to UC Santa Barbara for graduate school.

In Santa Barbara, I even met the man who’d become my husband, and we had our first child together.

We then spent years living in different cities across the state, but none of them truly felt like the right long-term fit for us.

After a brief period of living with my parents in Rancho Palos Verdes, an affluent hillside community full of retirees in Southern California, I left the West Coast for Cambridge, Massachusetts, to pursue a postdoctoral fellowship at Harvard.

As much as I loved Cambridge’s proximity to Boston, buzzy energy, and easy public transportation, my family couldn’t stomach the brutal winters. So, after three years there, we once again headed back to California.

Now, I’m finally settled and happier than ever

We spent several years bouncing around different California cities for work, but by 2020, I was ready to settle down in a place I could call my permanent residence.

Months into the COVID-19 pandemic, we decided to relocate to Torrance — where I’d spent my formative years — and move back into my childhood home. The whole family fell in love with the city’s beaches, diverse food options, weather, and spectacular public schools.

After two decades away, I was delighted to reconnect with my old high school friends and teachers. I love that my children go to the same schools I did and even have some of the same teachers.

Living in all the cities that have marked the different chapters of my life has given me a newfound appreciation for this coastal suburb — something I wouldn’t have if I had stayed here all along.