- My family had outgrown our home in the city and had to choose our next move: suburbs or country.
- I’d seen what a typical childhood looked like for city kids and didn’t want that life for my children.
- So, we packed up an moved from a city of 700,000 to a small town of about 2,000. I have no regrets.
In 2018, my family of five was at an inflection point. We had three young kids and had outgrown our two-bedroom cottage in an urban metro area of over 700,000 people.
We could either buy a larger home in the suburbs or move to a rural area. We considered many places, but our top choice was my hometown — a snowy mountain town in Utah with a population of about 2,000.
There, I felt like my kids may have a chance at a real childhood where they could ride a bike to the pool, walk to grandma’s house, or work on grandpa’s farm.
When we moved, the idea that our kids would grow up better in a small town was just a hypothesis. Now that we’ve been here for seven years, I can confidently say we made the right choice.
I didn’t want to raise my kids in the city
My experience as a high school teacher in large cities helped me realize that I wanted a different life for my children.
The last school I worked in was one of the top in the state. My students generally came from stable, well-to-do neighborhoods and families. They had a lot of advantages in life.
Yet, it felt like my students were missing out on the best parts of childhood.
Courtesy of Alene Laney
Much of their lives were a seemingly endless loop of carpools, homework, canned activities, and video games. Where was the adventure, I’d wonder. Would they ever learn to do hard things and foster a sense of resilience?
Kids only have one childhood, and I wanted mine to grow up with the freedom to fly, as I did.
I had freedom growing up in a small town
I remember when I thought I wanted to be an athlete, so I entered the bike race from our town to the next one over — approximately 21 miles away. I was 11 years old.
I trained by riding my little Huffy bike to the airport, up the mountain, and out to my dad’s farm.
Perhaps I was just stubborn, but I don’t think I would have had the courage to do that if I had grown up in a large city.
To me, fostering independence in kids isn’t as much about free-range parenting as it is the cultural attitude of small towns. It’s acceptable to raise kids with a lot of independence in places like this.
For example, after moving here, one of my kids missed the bus and tried to walk 10 miles home on his own. Nobody called the police on me or scolded me for my son’s behavior. Quite the opposite.
Someone saw my son walking alone, sensed something was off, and brought him to the school where we were reunited. In the city, you likely wouldn’t get the same small, safe community vibe.
My kids are thriving in their new home
Our kids were young when we moved, but they’ve grown into kind, capable people. They’ve had experiences they never would have if we still lived in the city and thrive under the freedom offered here.
For example, when we moved we bought a fixer-upper home with a 12-acre forest and incredible mountain views. It was very different from our small cottage situated next to a busy road. We build forts and bike trails, spin on tree swings, sled off the deck stairs, and camp under the stars — all right out the back door.
The kids also help bring firewood into the house and learn bushcraft skills from my husband.
I miss the city, but it’s hard to move back now
I miss the city. I miss my friends, being near an airport, the convenience of DoorDash, and how easy it was to find a carpet cleaner.
However, when I look at how my kids are blossoming into confident, well-balanced people, it’s hard to imagine uprooting them.
Country life does have many drawbacks, but it’s a small price to pay for the independence my kids are afforded.
