I was enjoying lunch with a friend during my summer vacation in London when she asked about the whereabouts of the rest of the family.
My husband and tween son were at a museum, I told her. I said I wasn’t sure about my daughter, then 15. I explained that we’d parted ways earlier that morning, and she was exploring the city alone.
She’d already spent time going to places on her own, partly because she no longer shared the same interests as us.
We did a house swap
Her idea of fun was shopping in clothing stores and browsing street markets like those in Camden and on Portobello Road. We were more into seeing the sights.
It was good to see her so happy. We live in suburban New York, which can be cloistered, and she could spread her wings in the British capital.
The trip came about via a house swap with a former colleague who lived in the Haringey area of London. Her family moved into our house for two weeks, and we stayed in theirs for seven days before visiting my parents in the north east of England.
Courtesy of the author
It was a win-win: we got a taste of inner-city living, and they experienced New York. The accommodation was free for both parties, and they fed our three cats while we were gone.
I never imagined the added bonus of my teenager gaining independence during the exchange.
She was already pretty street-savvy in Manhattan, since we live about 50 minutes away by train, and she would go with friends.
This felt different. She was in a foreign city, albeit a relatively safe one, where people spoke English. She was unsure of the Underground and bus systems.
She asked strangers for directions
Then there were the cultural differences, such as standing in line for almost everything. Or something as simple as being understood when she asked for half-and-half.
However, she handled it well. She never got lost on public transport or stumbled into an unfriendly neighborhood.
She got used to asking strangers for directions and struck up conversations with people her age.
Meanwhile, I was worried about our house swap partners in New York. Would they find our little town dull compared to their busy, metropolitan location?
Their family had meaningful conversations
I asked the mom. She said it was quite the reverse. Her husband and kids got a kick out of the change of pace. They spent a lot of time relaxing at our home or touring the Hudson Valley.
Still, they regularly went into the city, driving into Manhattan in their rental car and parking in a garage. It worked out cheaper than buying five train tickets.
The mom also said their family had meaningful conversations in the car. Usually, she said, they traveled around together on the Tube, where the rattling sounds stopped them from chatting.
Looking back, the house exchange was a roaring success. Best of all, the Londoners grew closer as my daughter became self-assured and adventurous.
