My high school son, Jack, was overwhelmed with college anxiety — SAT prep, AP classes, acceptance rates, and all the pressure that comes with being a New York student.
It was hard to quiet the noise, so I decided to make a radical — and unconventional decision: I pulled him out of school and took him to Antarctica for three weeks over winter break.
Everyone told me it was a terrible idea, but I thought it was exactly what he needed.
We’ve been traveling since he was a baby
Jack and I have been traveling together since he was 3 months old. I’m a huge traveler, and when I had my first son, I decided to take him along for the ride.
In elementary school, I didn’t think twice about pulling him out in order to explore the world (Costa Rica, Mexico, Nevis, Finland). Against the judgment of some parents (and some school officials), I thought it was important to expose him to travel — different cultures, different ways of doing things, different ways of thinking. He quickly became my favorite travel companion, and I often thought travel Jack was the best version of himself.
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It became more difficult to pull him out in middle school (but I still did — he missed eighth-grade graduation — to go on a trip to Sri Lanka). Once he entered high school (where, according to him, grades matter), it became really difficult to make up the work if I pulled him out.
Then came junior year and all the stress that comes with college prep settled upon us. Not only was he balancing a bunch of AP classes, but he was also studying for the SAT and doing all the college prep work. Basically, he (and therefore I) became slightly unhinged.
I booked a 3-week cruise to Antarctica
So when I floated the idea of going on a trip — just the two of us — Jack was instantly in, but I got tons of pushback from everyone else. Junior year is the most important year for college prep; he’s in AP classes, and it’s super hard to make up the work. Did I have my priorities straight? Now is the time to lock in, not travel.
But I ignored the noise and booked us on a three-week cruise to Antarctica — he had two weeks off for the holiday break and would miss one week of school. I had him talk to all his teachers about missed work and make-up, and, surprisingly, while a lot of parents thought I was nuts, the teachers were supportive of this once-in-a-lifetime trip.
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And off we went on a three-week trip to Antarctica, South Georgia, and the Falkland Islands. I purposefully chose this cruise itinerary because it included South Georgia, which everyone says is a must if going to the white continent. It definitely made the trip long (by a week), but it turned out South Georgia was both Jack and my favorite part of the cruise (we saw thousands of king penguins in their beautiful orange plumage, alongside their baby chicks, which looked like they were wearing lush fur coats).
His perspective started to shift during the trip
Every day was a different adventure: hiking up snow-capped peaks; kayaking among icebergs looking for whales and seals; getting face-to-face with several types of penguins (we quickly learned the difference between rockhopper, macaroni, gentoo, Adelie, and chinstrap varieties).
Far from GPAs and college chatter, surrounded instead by penguins, elephant seals, and endless ice, Jack’s perspective started to shift. College stopped feeling like the entire world — and started looking like just one chapter.
One night we had dinner with Rich Pagen a naturalist and Kristen Wornson the Young Explorers guide. When Jack asked them how they knew what they wanted to do with their lives, they shared their experience of trying to find the right college and then moving into different career circles. It was great for Jack to hear that their path wasn’t always straightforward, but they ultimately found jobs they loved.
For Jack to see people loving their jobs — and to realize that no one thought they’d end up where they did, leading expeditions in Antarctica — was a great wake-up call.
Also, because this was the family holiday cruise, several other families with teens were on board. It was great for Jack to get out of his comfort zone and talk to teens from all over the world. One was taking a gap year before college, and it really got him realizing that there are so many paths out there.
The trip brought us closer together
The trip also brought Jack and me closer together; away from the distractions of everyday life, we connected in a way that’s rare during the teenage years.
On this trip, Jack and I always did the excursions together, and we ate dinner together every night. But on sea days, I attended every lecture, and he opted to go to the gym or sleep. By giving each other space, we really enjoyed the time we did spend together. I didn’t nag him, and he, in turn, didn’t give me an attitude.
It was one of our favorite trips together.
