This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Jay Zigmont, founder of Childfree Wealth and Childfree Trust. It has been edited for length and clarity.
I wear a shirt when I want to start conversations. It says, “Proudly childfree and wealthy.”
At financial conferences, it stops people in their tracks and gives me an opportunity to talk about my work helping childfree people make estate plans that match their lives.
My wife, Vicki, and I have been married for nearly 17 years. Because of a health condition she has, we always knew we wouldn’t have kids. It’s shaped everything about how we approach life, including our ideas about our careers, finances, retirement, and even home ownership.
Vicki is Catholic, and wanted to get married in the Catholic Church, but they wouldn’t marry us if we didn’t plan to have children. We asked three different churches, and all had the same answer. We got married at my Methodist church, and that was the first time we realized how much being childfree would impact all areas of our lives.
I’d like to die with very little money, not acquire more wealth
I’m 48, but in my late 30s, I had achieved my career and financial goals. I had $1 million in the bank and no debt, but I didn’t know where to go from there.
As a childfree person, there’s a point when you can have too much wealth. I’m not trying to build generational wealth — in fact, I’d like to die with very little money. That means my career isn’t driven by financial gain. I focus on purpose, not profit.
Whatever Vicki and I have when we die will be left to our nephews, but I hope it’s not much. Instead of leaving them a large sum later in life, we’re supporting them when they need it most. We contribute to their college funds, and I would be happy to consider investing in their businesses or helping them buy a house. We also give generously to charities — my personal favorite is a charity that buys and forgives medical debt.
I likely won’t ever retire fully
I plan to always work in some way. Instead of focusing on early retirement, I follow a FILE approach: “financial independence, live early.” I want to work on projects I enjoy, but do so on my own time, from anywhere.
When you don’t have kids, you have to reimagine the typical idea of success and what life can look like. That can take months, because you’re untangling a lifetime of messaging, to figure out what you truly want.
I encourage people to think about this by writing their obituary. Mine would say something like “loving husband, world traveler, author, and innovator.” Those are the things I want to focus on — not building wealth for wealth’s sake. A few years ago, I tried my hand at maple syrup farming just because it sounded enjoyable.
My legacy will be helping other childfree people
Vicki and I rent our home, and although we’ve owned in the past, I don’t think we ever will again. We move often, every two to three years, since we’re not tied to a specific school system or living near family to help watch the kids. Renting saves us money, and I think it’s usually the right move for most childfree people.
Recently, Tennessee, where I live, passed a bill requiring students to learn about the “success sequence”: graduating, getting a job, getting married, and having kids. We’re taught so much about that one path to success, but there are more options.
My legacy won’t be children, but rather helping other childfree people find the success sequence that’s right for them.
