At this point, when someone asks where I got something I’m wearing, there’s a good chance my answer is, “It’s my grandmother’s.”
She’s 91, extremely fashionable, and I’ve lived with her my whole life.
When my parents were house hunting before I was born, my mom had one nonnegotiable — she wanted to live with her mother.
So, instead of looking for a traditional single-family home, she searched specifically for a mother-daughter-style house with a separate apartment for my grandmother (who I call Mimi).
Looking back, I think it was the best living situation they could’ve chosen.
Growing up, my grandmother was always there for me
With two working parents, having my grandmother present made such a difference in my life.
My parents never had to rely on a nanny or scramble for last-minute childcare, which saved them time, money, and stress. But beyond the logistics, it gave me something even more valuable: time with my grandmother.
When my mom was busy, Mimi was always available to play dress-up or have spa nights with me. We sat at her kitchen table for hours, and as a child, it always felt like the most fun place to be.
Amanda Shammas
As I grew up, our relationship evolved. I started going to her for advice about friendships, boys, and problems that felt overwhelming at the time.
Being able to regularly get guidance from my mom and grandmother — two generations of women — offered me a rare perspective. Whereas my mom could relate to what I was going through, my grandmother could zoom out and remind me how small my problems would look one day.
In many ways, my grandmother and I are more alike than my mom and I are, and one of the clearest examples is our shared love of fashion.
As I got older, I started inheriting pieces she no longer wanted.
Amanda Shammas
She would typically tell me to keep what I liked and donate the rest, but she has impeccable taste, so I’ve never parted with a single item.
Some of my favorite pieces — silk scarves, wool jackets, and gold belts — mean more to me knowing they’ve already lived a life before mine, and when I wear them, it’s not just an outfit. It feels like I’m always carrying a piece of her with me.
Living together has come full circle, and now, we take care of her
Amanda Shammas
My grandmother is still sharp as a tack and makes meatballs every Sunday, but at 91, life naturally looks different than it used to.
The same setup that once allowed her to help raise us now allows us to care for her. We regularly drive her to doctor’s appointments, pick up her prescriptions, and help clean her apartment.
When she had a stroke in 2015, she had a support system right in her home during her recovery.
People often talk about villages in the context of raising children. However, I’ve learned that families need villages at every stage of life, and our unconventional living situation allows us to care for one another.
She helped raise me, and now I get to be there for her, which is something I’ll always be grateful for.
