- One piece of early advice in my parenting journey has stuck with me.
- Now that my kids are teens, I have two rules for them: no screens or food in their bedrooms.
- The rules give all of us structure.
Out of all the parenting tips I read as a new mom, one piece of advice has stayed with me all these years: “Start as you mean to continue.”
It was a helpful reminder for times when I was exhausted, and the path of least resistance was more appealing. Did it really matter if my baby slept on my chest for just one night? Did I really need to teach my toddler to brush his own teeth instead of just doing it for him? Wasn’t it easier to just let them stay up later than enforce a bedtime?
You see where I’m going with this. “Start as you mean to continue” requires consistency and determination — but I’ve found that the results are worth the effort.
Now that they are older, we have two rules we never bend with our kids.
My kids don’t have screens in their room
With “start as you mean to continue” in mind, my husband and I established a firm rule of not allowing electronics in our sons’ bedrooms from when they were old enough to say “iPad.” Phones, laptops, tablets, and even TVs are kept in common areas on the main floor of our house. When the boys were little, the goal was to minimize their screen time in the evening and make sure they were getting an adequate amount of sleep.
But keeping tech in the shared spaces is about more than just managing screen time now — it’s also about creating natural opportunities for connection.
When devices are out in the open, I know what games they’re playing, which friends they’re talking to, and how much time they’re really spending online. Sometimes, I can even get a brief conversation out of them, whether it’s a quick comment about the game they’re playing or talking about what’s going on at school as we scroll on our respective devices. These small check-ins have helped bridge the gap as they start to pull away and become more private about their feelings and interests.
They can’t bring food to their rooms
Another house rule that we established as soon as our kids were old enough to be able to get their own snacks from the refrigerator or pantry was that no food or drinks were allowed in their bedrooms.
This expectation pulls double duty, too. Yes, it prevents messes, pests, and the horror of finding a half-eaten ham sandwich under a bed or a glass of spoiled milk on the windowsill, but it’s also a guaranteed way to draw them out of their teen caves and into the kitchen.
While they’re grabbing a snack on the weekend, a quick chat might not seem like much, but it can be enough to gauge how they’re doing or remind them that I’m here if they need me. During the school year, when everyone is busy, sharing family dinners helps us stay connected — even on days when we’re butting heads over things like grades, homework, and household chores. It’s harder to stay engaged in conflict when passing the spaghetti and meatballs or negotiating over who gets the last piece of garlic bread.
They don’t break these rules because they were established early on
Establishing our no-tech/no-food-or-drink rules when they were little — back when their iPads were loaded with educational programming and their favorite snacks were fresh fruit and Cheerios — has made for a more peaceful household now.
I expect them to challenge our rules, and yes, I’ve heard the phrase “My friends do it” enough to last me a lifetime. But I can count on one hand the number of times we’ve had to deal with one of them breaking these two rules simply because they have existed for as long as they can remember.
I’ll be the first to tell you that “Start as you mean to continue” is a helpful parenting mantra, but it’s not magic. Parenting teens has its challenges and frustrations, even when patting myself on the back for setting certain house rules early. We still have weekly discussions about screen time, M-rated video games, and whether a granola bar counts as a balanced breakfast. But as our kids grow older and push for more independence, these established boundaries offer a bit of structure — something to anchor them and us when everything else about our parent-child relationship changes.
They’re also a reminder for the future, when we hand over the car keys and set curfews, that some parenting rules, when implemented early and consistently, can stick.
