Eloping Was the Right Decision, but I Still Have 4 Regrets

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Allie Larsen, a 37-year-old who lives in Raleigh. It has been edited for length and clarity.

My husband Ryan and I met on Instagram in 2018, right before I turned 30.

I followed his sister on Instagram because we both worked for the same modeling agency a long time ago. I’d never met her, but she posted a picture with her brother. I commented, “Is your brother single?” She was like, “Actually, he is.” I lived in California then, so he flew out there for a job interview, and we ended up meeting up.

We got together, and we’ve been inseparable ever since.

We did long distance for two years. He lived in Raleigh at the time, so I then moved to North Carolina for him.

We got engaged in August of 2021.

Eloping over a traditional wedding

Growing up, I always envisioned myself having a wedding.

I called a few venues to get some quotes and figure out their schedule, and they were booked out for a year or two. I just really didn’t want to wait that long.

After thinking about it more, we decided eloping was the best avenue. I was already 34 at that point. I was just like, “I do not want to wait. I want to get married now. I’ve already been with you for four or five years. It took us this long to be physically together and get engaged, and I’m just ready to do the damn thing and call you mine.”

We got married in November, so we were only engaged for a few months.

We eloped in Raleigh, and it worked out perfectly. One of our favorite places is the North Carolina Museum of Art. I saw on Google that people were eloping there, so I reached out to the museum. All you need is permission, and you can get married on the grounds for free. It was a beautiful fall day, and the fact that it was free was a plus.

We just had our parents, our photographer, and our officiant there.

We booked dinner at a restaurant after we got married that night, and I ordered a little cake from a local bakery. That was it.

Our parents gave us money for our wedding, and we used that to buy a beach house. We wouldn’t have been able to do that if we had spent all that money on a big wedding.

I loved eloping, but I wish we had done a few things differently

I regret not getting a videographer. Right after we eloped, I saw a lot of people getting into the content creation realm for weddings, which is such a genius idea.

I didn’t need a fancy video. I just would have loved to have social content I could look back on and share. My photographer took a few videos, but having someone dedicated to capturing those moments — like me putting on my dress or us doing our vows — would have been ideal.

We also didn’t say our own vows. We used the officiant vows, which were great, but I think that’s your opportunity to write your vows. You don’t even have to do them in front of the officiant. You could do them in the morning before you get officially married.

That is your moment. No one’s around. No one’s listening. You don’t have to get nervous. You’re not on a microphone. You can just express how much you love each other.

I really wish we did that, even if we wrote something down and shared it with each other. To have that forever to give our kids would have been amazing.

I also wish I had taken more time getting ready. I did my own hair and makeup. I spent weeks before perfecting it, so I didn’t feel as rushed the day of. I took a lot of time to figure out the best makeup that would look good on camera. I went to Sephora, and I felt really confident.

I took some videos of myself rushing to get ready, then threw my dress on, and my husband and I went out in the yard and took pictures with our dog.

But I wish I had taken a moment to sit there and cherish the fact that those were my last few moments as a single woman. We got ready in separate bedrooms, but I wish we had put more time and energy into getting ready together, having Champagne, and having a few quiet moments together.

I wish we had a small reception

After the wedding, we went to dinner with our parents, but I do wish we had a small reception. We planned to have one a few months later, but it never happened.

After we got married and took pictures, we went back to our house and had a charcuterie board and some Champagne before dinner. It would have been so special if we had just had our close friends in Raleigh there to celebrate.

Something I did to offset that was I still had my bachelorette party after we got married. We had our surprise elopement, and then all my best friends and I went to Palm Springs.

They weren’t like, “Wait, she’s already married. This is weird.” All my friends were there, acting like I was about to get married. It was everything I’d ever dreamed of.

Eloping was so special

I think a lot of people plan these extravagant events, and they lose the true meaning of a wedding.

It’s about celebrating your love, your journey, and just the two of you.

The thing about your wedding is you can do whatever you want. No one says you have to walk down the aisle after your bridesmaids and stand up there.

You can still feel as special and loved eloping as you would having a big wedding.