Ben Stiller says he tried not to repeat the same parenting mistakes as his famous mom and dad, but realized it wasn’t easy.
In an interview with The Times, published on Saturday, Stiller spoke about his bond with his late parents and how it mirrors parts of his own relationship with his kids.
The actor said he remembers his parents, comedians Jerry Stiller and Anne Meara, working long hours and being away from home for weeks at a time.
“I just remember missing them terribly,” Stiller, 59, told The Times.
When he thinks about his own kids, Ella and Quinlin, whom he shares with his wife, Christine Taylor, Stiller says he’s made similar mistakes.
“But, then, I probably fucked up more with my kids than my parents did with us,” he added.
Stiller recalled casting his daughter in “The Secret Life of Walter Mitty” only to cut her scene from the final film.
“My son tells me that being a dad might not have been at the top of my list,” he said.
Still, he says he feels regretful about how he handled certain things with his kids while they were growing up.
“Like any parent, I remember things that weren’t happy about my childhood and go, ‘I’ll do better,'” Stiller said.
“And then I realized it was impossible to avoid making the mistakes they made,” he said. “When they were young, I thought, ‘Oh, the kids are young, I can work away and be a good dad earning for the family.’ But the bonds you form with your kids when they’re young are so important.”
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Reflecting on his brief split from his wife in 2017 before reuniting in 2020, Stiller said the time apart put a “strain” on his relationship with his kids.
“And I’d think, ‘Well, my parents never did that.’ But a long relationship is hard. You lose the freshness. I feel bad about what us breaking up did to the kids, but it was possibly the best thing to happen to Christine and me,” Stiller said.
The actor shared that the separation “changed” their relationship for the better.
“We don’t take it for granted anymore, and if you are happy, you’re going to be a better parent. You have hurdles and try to figure it out, and if you stay, all you can do is acknowledge the past and try to repair. That’s what we have in our family. It’s not perfect — at all. But that’s just life,” Stiller said.
Speaking to People on Sunday at the premiere of his new documentary about his parents, Stiller said hearing from his kids for the film showed him what he “got wrong” as a parent.
“And I really appreciated that, because it’s one of those things where you think you know, ‘Oh, I know what I’m putting out there to them.’ But from their perspective, it was totally different,” Stiller said.
A representative for Stiller did not immediately respond to a request for comment sent by Business Insider outside regular hours.
This isn’t the first time that Stiller has talked about the relationship with his kids.
In a 2022 interview with Esquire, Stiller said his daughter called him out for “not being there” during her childhood.
“They just want a parent who’s emotionally present and supportive of them. That’s probably what they want more than for me to be going off and pushing the bounds of my creativity,” he said.
