A Woman Moved to Ireland to Study but Never Felt Settled, Moved Home

I remember sitting on the floor of my childhood bedroom, surrounded by books, daydreaming of a life somewhere far away. Somewhere quieter, greener, more poetic. Ireland somehow became that place in my mind.

I imagined walking the same streets as Bram Stoker and Oscar Wilde and spending Sundays at local bookstores. I know it sounds overly romanticized, maybe even naive, but I didn’t care. I wanted that life, and I spent years working toward it.

In 2022, I took my shot. At the time, Dublin was a popular choice for international students. When I got accepted to Trinity College Dublin, the alma mater of writers I’d long admired, it felt like everything was falling into place.

Trinity was everything I hoped it would be

The first time I walked through Trinity’s front square, I stood there taking it all in. I couldn’t believe I was actually there.

Then came the Long Room, the famous library that looked like it belonged in Hogwarts. Standing there, surrounded by so many ancient books, I was in awe. I was lucky to live and study in a place with so much history. It felt like I’d stepped into the very story I’d been imagining in my head for years.

While at Trinity, I met people from all over the world, with their stories and perspectives that expanded my own. It felt like I was finally starting to build the future I’d always dreamed of.

Beyond the campus, Dublin wasn’t what I imagined

The local housing crisis hit me hard. After weeks of searching, I ended up in a tiny room that barely fit a bed, paying more than I could reasonably afford. I came to Dublin with a plan and knew it’d be expensive, but nothing prepared me for how disorienting those first weeks would feel.

Just when I was finally starting to feel settled, I started to realize that Dublin didn’t feel as welcoming as I’d hoped.

Almost every day, I saw strangers yelling at each other on the streets, fights breaking out on buses, and racial slurs spoken like everyday language. Teenagers — some shockingly young — seemed to roam with reckless confidence, bullying people and causing harm without any fear of getting caught.

At first, I thought it was just this way in the city center. Everyone warned me, “It gets rough there.” So, I changed my routes and kept my head down. Then one afternoon, in a quiet, upscale neighborhood, a stranger suddenly shouted a hateful insult in my ear. I froze. No one intervened.

That moment made it clear to me — if something like this could happen there, in broad daylight, it wasn’t just the “rough” parts of the city. It was the whole city.

The 2023 riots made me question if I ever truly belonged

I graduated in September 2023 and had renewed my post-study work visa. I was still hopeful, ready to see where life in Dublin might take me.

But two months later, I was working late when my phone buzzed with a notification from a news app. There’d been a stabbing outside a school, injuring five people, including three children and now riots were breaking out across the city.

Reports on social media had claimed the attacker was an undocumented immigrant, and thoses posts waere enough to spark a wave of anger.

Within hours, O’Connell Street, just minutes from where I worked, was unrecognizable. People gathered, not in mourning, but in rage. They set buses and trams on fire, smashed shop windows, and looted whatever they could carry.

I left work thinking I’d get home quickly. But the buses had stopped. Guards had shut down the roads. It took me three long, tense hours to get back. I kept checking my phone, watching videos of places I knew being torn apart. And I kept thinking, I don’t feel safe here. Maybe I never really did.

That night shifted my perspective. I arrived full of hope, ready to build a life here. But suddenly, I felt uncertain — like I didn’t quite belong.

A bittersweet goodbye

I want to say that Dublin let me down, but maybe it’s more complicated than that. It gave me so much to be thankful for: an education, memories, great friends. But it also slowly took away my sense of belonging and I finally decided to move back home.

And maybe that’s not a loss.

Maybe part of growing up is learning when to let go of the dream you once chased so you can make room for something better.