- How likable you are in a job interview often greatly determines your success in landing the role.
- It can be hard to feel authentic and optimistic when you’re stressed about the interview itself.
- Soft skills like matching the interviewer’s energy or being appropriately vulnerable can help.
Being well-liked doesn’t just help you move up at work. It can also be a deciding factor in getting tahe job in the first place.
Employers are often more likely to choose someone they click with in a job interview, even if that person is a little less experienced or skilled than another candidate, according to Dr. Sharon Grossman, a counselor and executive coach specializing in workplace stress reduction. “It’s an invitation to just be yourself,” she said.
The more authentic you are, the more likely you are to hit it off with the interviewer — or spot red flags if you’re incompatible with them.
That’s easier said than done when you’re stressed about answering questions correctly, but all you need are a few soft skills to “ease into a conversation” with the interviewer and come out on top, Grossman said.
Visualize nailing the interview
Research suggests that visualizing an outcome can help you make decisions to bring you closer to your goal.
To feel more relaxed and enthusiastic in an interview, it helps to visualize the process “down to the minute details,” Dr. Zachary Ginder, a psychologist specializing in occupational stress reduction, told BI. He recommends finding time before the interview to close your eyes and picture yourself at every stage: the handshake, how you sit down, how you articulate each point, and how you express yourself when you’re stuck.
If you’ve already done your research on the company and role, this mental rehearsal is an extra bit of prep to help your personality shine through.
Turn nerves into excitement
Feeling antsy before an interview doesn’t have to be a liability. “A certain amount of stress, up to a point of course, is actually beneficial for peak performance,” Ginder said.
You can turn your stress into an advantage by reframing it as motivation. Instead of trying to conceal how nervous you are, “you can show that you’re excited, and that’s really contagious,” Grossman said.
Being energetic and open about wanting the role signals passion to the interviewer. Ultimately, it can make you more memorable than a candidate who was tougher to read or seemed too nonchalant.
Add a positive spin
Most interviews involve at least one tough question, such as why you’re leaving your current role.
Being too negative or badmouthing your employer can backfire. Grossman suggested giving a generic answer, like “There was a conflict that I felt couldn’t be resolved.”
Then, shift the focus to the interviewer. You can say the experience taught you the value of good company culture and then ask the interviewer what they like about their company’s culture.
You can use the same technique for any questions you’re worried about answering. “It’s always about pivoting and reframing to cast yourself in a positive light — while still being truthful, of course,” Ginder said.
Match your interviewer where you can
While you don’t want to be insincere in an interview, it helps to emphasize your similarities with the interviewer — and their vision of the ideal candidate.
If the interviewer is high-energy, it can help to “play up on that” if you’re also a naturally bubbly person, Grossman said.
Research the company culture and make sure your answers match the mission statement. If collaboration is an integral part of the culture, you want to share stories that show you’re a team player, instead of ones highlighting your independence, Ginder said.
You should only do this if you genuinely like and relate to the culture. Otherwise, you not only risk coming off as fake, you might also land in a role that doesn’t fit you.
Tap into vulnerability
While your instinct might be to look perfect in interviews, a little vulnerability can go a long way.
If you fumble an answer, be honest, Grossman said. You can say something like “I’m sorry, can I start over? I was really nervous and what I just said doesn’t truly represent what I want to say.” Then take a beat to collect yourself and begin again.
Course-correcting in the interview can play as authentic and also demonstrate that you take ownership, she said. Plus, if the interviewer won’t let you try again, it’s a sign that you probably don’t want to work there.
Interview them back
Grossman said you should always treat job interviews as a two-way process: you’re also interviewing them as a fit. Ask detailed questions and be on the lookout for incompatibilities.
Even if it’s your dream job, carry yourself with the knowledge that you have options. Otherwise, desperation can negatively color your answers or make you too nervous to be yourself.
“You have to say to yourself: ‘I need a job and this job will be amazing. If I don’t get this job, I’ll find something else,'” Grossman said.
