For years, we wanted to renovate our bathroom. Months of picking out the perfect tile pairing, a gorgeous countertop, a shower door that swings just right, and a bathtub of my dreams. Little did we know that doing so would necessitate an extended stay out of our home.
A few days into our remodel, the living room turned into an indoor pond, ruining the hardwoods and drywall. With an adventurous toddler, we couldn’t stay in an active construction zone. In March, our little family of three packed our bags and headed a few neighborhoods over to live with my father-in-law in the guest room his house. We’re likely to be here until early December. Here are the pros and cons of our unexpected extended stay in our makeshift “studio apartment.”
Living here has unexpectedly given us free childcare
We went from a quiet home of three to a multigenerational household. One of the biggest benefits of this whole situation has been having help with our son. I tend to have a hard time asking for help, and moving into a multi-generational household unexpectedly opened the door not just to childcare, but free childcare. My son’s grandpa and great-grandparents, who also live here, wanted nothing more than to spend time with him.
Suddenly, since the beginning of our temporary move, I’ve had help whenever I want to do things like take a shower without having a little one pull the curtain back a million times or take hourlong breaks for Pilates. They began asking each morning if I had something to do, just so he could be with them.
Before this experience, I saw asking for help as a burden. I thought our family would be upset with us if we ever needed them to watch our son, because it would leave them unable to do whatever they needed during that time. I also felt guilty for leaving him. Now, I’m seeing that not only does it help him form bonds with his family, but it also brings them immense joy to be able to see him.
Courtesy of Autumn Gavora
There are other unexpected perks to our living arrangement
The most laughable pro that I am certainly going to miss is having our laundry folded. My husband’s grandmother loves doing laundry, a chore I absolutely despise. If she hears the dryer running, she puts a timer on her phone so she can get to it as soon as it’s done.
I used to try to beat her to it, because I didn’t want her thinking I was lazy; over time, however, I realized how much joy it gives her to do things for us (and I sure don’t mind it, either). I also began to understand that by not letting her help us, it made her feel like we didn’t need her. Allowing her to do certain things became a win-win; it made things easier for us, and showed her that we do need her in our lives, and she’s very useful to us.
I’ve also greatly enjoyed splitting the cooking and enjoying a meal as a family. After we moved into my father-in-law’s house, my husband has been better about leaving work at a decent time. There are now more nights than not when we sit down for dinner as a family. Some nights we don’t talk much and just enjoy each other’s presence; other times, we have dinners full of conversations about anything and everything. It’s just a time to slow down and enjoy being together.
The only real con will be how much we’ll miss living here
Surprisingly, there aren’t many cons of living with my husband’s father. I may not be accustomed to the extra noise or sharing a smaller space with my husband and toddler, but overall, the experience has been a pleasure.
The biggest con of all is going to be when we go back home, and my son won’t get to see his grandpa every day. Especially the cherished moments he has with his great-grandparents. Sometimes life throws you unexpected curveballs for reasons greater than you know, and I think in this case, it was to give us extra time. Time with our family, to remind us to slow down and reconnect.
One of the greatest joys to come out of this has been the bond that my little one and his grandpa have formed. He has brought a spark of new joy and hope into our family. Being able to spend these months here, seeing how much my father-in-law has enjoyed it, has been the biggest blessing of all. The happy dances my son did in the morning, asking for Grandpa, and the skinned knees from playing a little too roughly outside, will all be missed.
