Nearly four years ago, we uprooted our family and moved halfway across the country from the South to the Midwest. It was a two-day journey with a full U-Haul and endless bathroom breaks. After five years and having two kids states away from our families, we were ready for support, so we relocated back to my hometown.
My brother-in-law drove the U-Haul, and my mom went with me, manning toys and refreshments for the 18-hour drive. We did this all to be near family and have help with our kids. When the trip was complete, we didn’t have to give big hugs or say goodbye; we simply said, “Thanks for the help; see you tomorrow!”
My spouse and I both grew up next to cousins, aunts and uncles, and grandparents, and it was important to us for our kids to have the same.
Living close to my parents means we have much more support
When we first moved, we paid my mom to be our kids’ day care provider until they entered school. Now, she works at their elementary school and drives them home daily. It’s also nice because I have a direct line to them throughout the day. I can text her if I’m worried about them or think they need anything. My parents regularly take them for sleepovers; if it’s been a few weeks without one, either the kids or my parents are asking to set one up. They go to movies, ask to hang out on a whim — sometimes I tag along and other times I’m given the gift of free time.
My brother, who is autistic, also lives with my parents and is a staple in the boys’ lives. They force him out of his shell by constantly inviting him over or asking him to play. They love spending time with him and have so much fun when he’s around. He’s never said it in so many words, but I can tell it gives him confidence.
My parents attend soccer and t-ball games, take the kids to the park, or drop by and give them snacks. (So often, I had to discuss interrupting bedtime with sugar.) If I need to work late or have a last-minute commitment, I can just ask my parents for help. It’s night and day from their toddler days before we moved, when we were parenting on our own.
Moving back home has created a wonderful setup and made our lives so much richer.
My kids also get to spend more time with their cousins
My cousins and their kids also live nearby. My oldest son has two distant cousins in the same grade; the kids have 13 cousins just in our small town, and others who live nearby that they get to see often. Watching my kids grow up with their cousins has made my heart happy; it brings back so many memories of my own childhood. We have big family get-togethers and request that our kids play on the same sports teams.
However, we are still states away from my in-laws, who are also incredibly supportive. They visit us a few times a year, and we often plan trips to meet in the middle. I constantly tease them that they will move near us after retirement, and I am crossing my fingers that it actually happens someday.
Moving was a huge adjustment for our family, especially my husband, who switched careers and committed to moving to his wife’s hometown. However, it’s provided us with a stable and happy location for our kids. They have been given the gift of time with grandparents, which is absolutely priceless.
