- I’ve only heard bad things about long distance relationships. That they’re hard and not worth it.
- Goodbye drinks with a coworker led to an epic first date and we decided to take a chance on love.
- We made our long-distance relationship work and now we’re married. I’m glad I listened to my heart.
For most of my life, I had only heard bad things about long-distance relationships. Phrases like “they never work” or “they’re not worth it” come to mind. Still, the negative connotations didn’t stop me when I met my now-husband. Our connection was simply too strong, and I knew I’d regret it if I didn’t go for it.
I’d never met anyone I had so much in common with, from music and movie tastes to big-picture values. So when he told me he had to move back to the UK because his Canadian working holiday visa was about to expire, I took a risk.
It was July 2018, and we turned into fast friends after becoming co-workers a few months prior. We went out for what was supposed to be a casual goodbye drink, but the night ended up lasting 14 hours as we chatted, laughed, sang, and hopped from venue to venue. By the end, we confessed that we both had feelings for each other. We knew things would be complicated with his flight only a few days away, but there was something there. By the time he landed in the UK, we had both texted that we wanted to take our chances on a romantic relationship.
Long-distance didn’t last long
We were long-distance for 10 months, seeing each other only twice before I moved to the UK in May 2019. The distance was challenging, but it encouraged us to get creative to maintain our connection. We’d spend every moment we could messaging each other or coming up with romantic challenges, such as creating personalized playlists and sending snail mail.
What I think helped most was us setting ongoing goals for our relationship. At first this was planning visits, then it was deciding on a permanent move. As a couple, we always had something to look forward to.
As much as I missed him in the months we weren’t physically together, I never felt that our connection was waning. The excitement and anticipation made me feel like a kid waiting for Christmas — a definite positive aspect of long-distance relationships.
Building a lasting love
Now we’ve been together physically for six years, and though a lot of things have changed — we got married in 2021 and moved back to Canada in 2023 — one thing has remained consistent: our love for each other.
I grew up believing the old adage about love and relationships being hard, but my marriage has disproved that a million times over. From our initial conversations to our regular days together now, our relationship has always felt easy. The challenges we’ve had to face were difficult (aside from distance and immigration, we also weathered the pandemic together and dealt with illness and loss within our families), but our mutual love, respect, and support have made facing them easier.
And despite the big sacrifices we’ve had to make for each other, like moving across the ocean, I’ve learned that the small things are just as important. Performing little acts of service, like making each other our favorite drinks throughout the day, or simply giving each other space to do our own thing. What started out as a whirlwind has transformed into a peaceful state, and it completely changed my perspective on love.
I’ve learned that with the right person, obstacles aren’t something to be afraid of — they’re something that you face together and eventually come out stronger on the other end.
