My Father-in-Law Wanted Grandkids. We Had Our Son; I Have No Regrets.

• My husband and I got married in our early 20s, and we loved being DINKs.
• Then, my father-in-law told us he wanted grandkids. We decided to have children.
• Having our son changed our lives in so many ways, but I regret nothing.

My husband and I married at the tender ages of 21 and 24. I loved our child-free life — biking to nearby bars and restaurants, staying up late and sleeping in, and road-tripping with friends. We were young, in love, and the world felt wide open. Deep down, I wasn’t even sure I wanted children. It felt like we could go on being DINKs forever.

Then, in 2012, a conversation with my father-in-law changed everything.

My father-in-law told us he wanted grandkids on his birthday

For his 60th birthday, we celebrated at an all-you-can-eat buffet inside a smoky casino. I sat next to him. “We didn’t know what to get you for your birthday,” I said, feeling guilty that my husband and I showed up empty-handed. “What do you want?” I asked. “We’ll bring it next time we see you.”

“Grandkids,” he said, matter-of-factly as he split open a crab leg.

My face turned red.

“Oh, don’t listen to him,” my mother-in-law said, swatting him playfully.

My father-in-law shook his head. “No. I’m serious.” There was a sparkle in his eye. Suddenly, I saw life from his perspective. He was 60 with no grandchildren. His own father died when he was young, and his mom didn’t live very long past 60. In his mind, he didn’t know how many good years he had left, and he wanted to spend them with his grandbabies.

I didn’t want to deny him that, but I was also young with my whole life in front of me. A baby would derail the life I loved.

Then, my husband and I babysat an 18-month-old baby for a weekend. Watching my husband push him in the swing, his little giggles erupting, tugged at my heart.

At that moment, I saw the beauty of parenthood for the first time. Later, I spoke to my husband about it. Unlike me, my husband didn’t have aspirations to travel before having children — he was happy to settle into fatherhood at age 26.

By the time I’d talked myself out of motherhood, I was pregnant. I felt torn between the life I envisioned and this new future that included a baby, but ultimately, I chose to look at the circumstance through the lens of the adage: everything happens for a reason.

Though that attitude helped me feel more excited about my pregnancy, I still found it difficult. The constant nausea and exhaustion made it harder to focus on my graduate degree studies and full-time work.

My husband and I fought more, too, mostly over the new responsibilities we faced and my pregnancy hormones. The blissful days of the honeymoon stage seemed to be slipping through our fingers. Still, neither of us regarded the pregnancy with regret.

When we took my in-laws and parents out to eat at our favorite Mexican restaurant, I handed them each a gift — my favorite picture book, Madeline. Inside, I’d scribbled the words, “Read to me November 18th,” and then informed them we were pregnant and that was my due date.

Catching the look of joy on their faces, especially my father-in-law’s face, amplified my excitement.

At our gender reveal, we told everyone we were having a boy, and his middle name would be Ignacio, after my father-in-law. When I turned to catch his reaction to the news, tears flowed down his cheeks.

Having a baby early in our marriage changed things

I became a mother three weeks after turning 24. Having a baby added strain to our marriage; our focus was now on the child and not our connection. However, watching my husband care so much for another human being gave me a deeper respect for him. As parents, we learned to be more selfless, and our marriage is better for it.

Motherhood turned out to be the sweetest gift for other reasons, too. At a “Mommy and Me” class, I met a group of extraordinary women. We bonded over sleepless nights, breastfeeding woes, and baby milestones. Our friendship dug deep, and 12 years later, I am still close to this group.

I don’t regret anything

My in-laws turned out to be the most devoted grandparents in the world. Our son is an important part of their life. Their phones are full of photos and videos of him — they say he gave them a new calling and purpose.

And, of course, I wouldn’t trade my son for anything, either. If we’d waited to have kids longer, I’d never have known this child, this joy, this love.