I’m a Dad Who Works in-Office 3 Days a Week; I’d Need a Raise for 5

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Andrew Clark, a 38-year-old SEO and content specialist and father based in Baltimore. The following has been edited for length and clarity.

Ever since my daughter was born in 2020, I’ve worked remotely and set my own business hours at various companies as an SEO and content specialist. Even with the flexibility of setting my own schedule, it was always a balancing act — trying to prioritize quality time with my family while still advancing my career and staying engaged professionally.

Now I work at Call Tracking Metrics, which has a three-day-a-week in-office schedule. When I was interviewing with them in February, I told my wife, “If this feels like too much of a tradeoff, I’ll keep looking.” She said, “It’ll be a challenge, but we can make it work.”

I started work later that month.

As part of my counteroffer, I asked for later start times on office days

I wanted to be able to handle day care drop-offs, so that was non-negotiable for me. Thankfully, they said, “No problem.”

For the rest of that school year, I did drop-offs, and my wife, who works fully remotely, handled pickups and then watched our daughter until I got home and could help out.

My wife has been told that her company might soon require her to come in a few days a week. If this happens, we’re unsure how we’d make it work. If our in-office days overlap, how would we handle it? How do we explain that to a boss who may not be understanding?

At my company, if you do good work, you’re trusted

There have been times when I’m scheduled to be in the office, and I’ve had to say to my employer, “I can’t come in today,” because my daughter is sick or there’s a school event I wanted to attend. I feel very fortunate that my company is flexible and understanding.

Everybody is afforded this same level of flexibility. The cofounders of my company are a husband-and-wife team with school-aged kids, so those early years are still fresh in their memory.

They usually just want to ensure my deadlines are met, versus trying to micromanage. I’ve tried to keep these impromptu requests to a minimum, which has been easier since my daughter is now in kindergarten.

For me, the hardest part of returning to the office is the commute

My drive is an hour each way, and often worse. Since the Baltimore Bridge collapse, traffic has been a nightmare. One recent evening, it took me three hours to get home due to rain, a ballgame, and multiple accidents. Even as someone who doesn’t mind driving, it’s wearing on me.

I still enjoy the three days a week in the office. My team makes the commute worth it. The in-person collaboration and the casual hallway conversations that spark real ideas are refreshing.

There are no technical difficulties or distractions like at home, so I get deep focus time. Plus, seeing colleagues face-to-face brings a level of connection and communication that just doesn’t come through a screen.

RTO is a topic of discussion among employees continuously

There’s a real dialogue around RTO — leadership asks for feedback, listens, and treats us like whole people. My coworkers vary in their perspectives, usually based on where they’re commuting from, if they have kids or someone else to care for at home, and how they think collaboration is best achieved.

Just recently, we were in a team meeting, and we asked each other, “What’s our gut feeling on this RTO? Is it really still working for everybody?” Even people without kids were saying, “I don’t like having to be told I have to be in the office three days a week.” Once you experience the flexibility of being a fully remote employee, you can’t put that genie back in the bottle.

There are no current plans for five days a week in the office, as I think the company has found its happy medium, and the majority of employees seem to enjoy it.

If that were to change, I’d likely choose to stay but ask for compensation to offset the drawbacks, such as commuter benefits or a higher salary to lessen the need for my wife to work full-time. Time away from my family doesn’t come for free.