I Used a VA Loan to Buy a Home; I Feel Guilty My Siblings Never Will

Growing up, I always had one goal: homeownership. I wanted a house that I could call my own.

In 2006, I bought my first home using a VA loan at a 6.25% interest rate. Three homes later, I’m still a homeowner and was recently able to lock in a much lower rate.

I feel incredibly fortunate to have score such a low interest rate and mortgage. I have made responsible choices. I served my country, earned VA benefits, and refinanced when the timing was right.

But if I am honest, pride isn’t my only emotion. I also have some guilt.

My journey in homeownership

For my first house, I didn’t know if 6.25% was a good rate or a bad rate. I was just happy that for the first time in my life, and well into my 30s, I could fulfill a dream and buy a home.

Years later, I refinanced to a 3.25% rate. I was ecstatic at the rate of three percentage points lower, and I reduced my monthly mortgage. I lived in my first home for almost 10 years before I sold it in 2015.

In 2016, I bought my second home — again using my VA benefits — and got a 6% rate. I didn’t live in that home for very long, only about 1 1/2 years.

After selling my second home, I immediately bought my third home using my VA benefits, with a rate of 6.25%.

Then, in 2020, the pandemic hit, and mortgage rates plummeted due to the Federal Reserve’s aggressive response to the economic crisis. I was able to refinance my rate to a historic low of 2.25%

Refinancing gave me peace of mind, but also left me with feelings of guilt

I am the youngest of my siblings. We have all worked hard to make a living. But while I have been able to buy and refinance homes, none of my siblings have been able to purchase a home of their own.

Given the cost of homes and the current mortgage rates, hovering just below 7%, I don’t know if they can ever afford a house. They seem destined to rent for the rest of their lives.

I think about this a lot. I love my siblings, and I want only the best for them, including being able to buy their own homes someday. I wonder why things have worked out for me and not for them.

Yes, I have made some intentional choices over the years, some that have carried some risk, and some that have been well-timed. For example, I moved for work when opportunities presented themselves. I took on leadership roles in places that weren’t always convenient or comfortable. I used my VA loan benefits as much as I could.

But knowing all that, I still feel the guilt of being the only sibling able to afford to buy not one but three homes at different times.

I didn’t do anything extraordinary to deserve that kind of luck. I just happened to be in the right place at the right time, with the right benefits and the ability to act quickly.

As home values climbed, so did the emotional weight

Now it’s 2025, and mortgage rates are back up, even higher than when I bought my first home in 2006. First-time homebuyers are facing an uphill climb to get into the market. Home prices are high, and competition for available inventory is tough.

When I bought my current home in 2018, I paid $240,000; now, according to Zillow, its value is almost $403,000 — a nearly 68% increase.

When around my siblings, I hesitate to bring up anything house-related in conversations. I am not ashamed; I am genuinely grateful, but I don’t want to remind them of what they don’t have. They have expressed their desire to buy a home in the past, so to bring it up now in these difficult housing conditions feels insensitive.

I’m proud I own a home. I am extremely grateful for the rate that I have. But I also hope that one day each of my siblings will be able to experience the joy of owning a home and enjoy the benefits that come with it.