In January of this year, I had to have cervical spine surgery. Ironically, I wasn’t worried as much about the surgery as I was about the post-surgery fallout.
For several weeks post-op, I wouldn’t be able to drive (due to not being able to turn my neck), so I was trying to figure out how to get my kids to school, sports, clubs, and their various activities. Plus, my doctor warned me that it would be a good idea to get help with cooking, laundry, and any other activities that involved turning my neck (turns out that’s just about everything).
Fortunately, I’m one of six children, and I turned to my sister, Rose, for help. She willingly flew from Chicago to New York to take care of me and my family for three weeks. It turns out that having her stay with me was incredible. Not only was she super helpful, but getting the chance to see her every day, when we rarely got to catch up outside holidays, was a treat.
I wanted to do something special with her to express my gratitude. My favorite thing to do is travel — specifically, adventure travel — and gifting her a trip to Alaska on an expedition cruise was something I figured we’d both enjoy.
We chose what to do
Hiking, kayaking, and exploring the great outdoors were activities I often enjoyed when traveling. The more active, the better. My sister, however, was prone to more relaxing vacations. So when we showed up in Juneau on our first day aboard Uncruise’s Wild, Wooly and Wow with Glacier Bay itinerary, I think we were both wondering how this trip would work.
What’s great about Uncruise is it’s a choose-your-own adventure — each day we would be able to pick two activities for that day, and there was no obligation to stick together.
The first day, we were going to get up close to glaciers and icebergs. I immediately thought kayaking was the activity for us; Rose wasn’t so sure. I convinced her to try it, and off we went. The scenery was amazing — giant icebergs floated around us — as our guide pointed to a spot in the far distance as our turnaround point. I was loving it. As the wind picked up and the rain started, Rose told me that she was glad she had done this, but she wanted me to know that it was a one-and-done type of activity. Her back hurt, and she was tired.
Courtesy of the author
The next day, when the activity options were given, I immediately jumped at the chance to bushwhack. Bushwhacking was basically hiking up the Alaskan terrain without any paths, so literally bushwhacking our way through — climbing over roots, under fallen trees, and into some pretty muddy spots (I got stuck — and almost lost my knee-high boots — in several swampy areas).
We went off to do what we liked
I asked Rose what option appealed to her, and she said the skiff tour — a boat ride that gets close to shore and promises to see plenty of animals (no exercise required). That activity was at the bottom of my list. At first, I tried to convince her to go bushwhacking with me, but then I realized that this was her vacation, too. Yes, we were traveling together, but we also had very different interests and ideas of what constitutes a good vacation.
Rose went on her skiff tour and came back super excited — she saw tons of grizzly bears, humpback whales, otters, and even orcas. While I had not seen any animals, I was flying high on adrenaline from hiking up a mountain without a trail and taking in the most magical views from the top.
Rose quickly made friends with the other skiff riders, and I became good friends with my hiking and kayaking buddies. Each day, Rose and I did our own thing — no pressure on the other person to join. And it worked out beautifully. She saw tons of wildlife, and I got my active adventure.
Unlike when we were younger and felt strongly that we needed to do the same things, getting older allowed me to realize that accepting my sister and her choices — and not pressuring her to do what I thought was best — was the key to a happy relationship.
