When I was a teenager, my family and I traveled more than 5,000 miles from San Marino (the country, not the city in California) to Seattle for vacation.
One of the places I was most excited to visit was the Museum of Pop Culture, but unfortunately, I didn’t get the chance to fully enjoy it.
As I slowly took my time admiring the artwork and taking in the many exhibits, my group rushed through the experience — and I felt pressured to keep up. I left the stunning electric guitar display I was interested in behind for fear of holding everyone back.
Now that I’m well into my 20s and can set my own boundaries on trips, I’ve decided things will be different thanks to what I call the “50/50 Rule.”
Spending some time alone is key to maximizing my vacations — and my rule is already paying off
Julian Monrabal/Shutterstock
My rule is simple: When I’m on vacation with others, I’ll spend about half my time with them and the other half alone.
This allows me to see things I’m interested in that my travel companions don’t care about, and gives me an opportunity to explore places in greater depth.
In March, I put the “50/50 Rule” to the test for the first time during a trip to Valencia, Spain, with my aunt, my cousin, and my cousin’s friend. Although we spent a big chunk of the trip together, I made time to visit two museums, the Church of San Nicolás, and a show at the Hemisfèric alone.
It was lovely wandering through the exhibits at the Centro de Arte Hortensia Herrero, admiring the works of art at my own pace. I was especially grateful to be alone when a big group of chatty tourists made it challenging to see the various pieces.
Since I was alone, I had the opportunity to wait for them to go into the next room so I could enjoy everything in silence.
If I’d been with my family, they probably would’ve rushed through the exhibits, as they often do. Instead, I got to calmly enjoy the museum, and I was glad to have this break to myself.
It might sound selfish, but I think the rule benefits everyone
Nicole Benedettini
Initially, I worried that wanting to spend time alone would cause friction among the group, but I think clear communication helped prevent this.
Before we left for Spain, I made a list of places that interested me, and my family and I discussed our preferences on our way to the airport.
From there, we planned a loose schedule of landmarks to visit together, and I established that I would spend the last morning and, if possible, part of the first day alone. I clarified that my solo time would benefit everyone since no one would get bored or annoyed by the itinerary.
Although my aunt agreed to the plan, she was worried the vacation would become too difficult to coordinate. In the end, though, everyone seemed happy with how the trip went. My cousin and his friend got to spend some time wandering the city just the two of them and my aunt actually got to enjoy some alone time, too.
Someday, I hope to spend a long weekend solo traveling through a city in Europe. But for now, I love that my “50/50 Rule” gives me a taste of the experience without causing me to feel lonely or unsafe — and I still get to bond with the ones I love most.
