It all started with a phone call to my sister, who lived overseas. We were jokingly debating who would take care of Mom if anything ever happened to our dad. Since I lived nearby, I “won” the responsibility — but that lighthearted conversation planted a serious idea in my mind: what kind of home could support my parents in the future?
At the same time, my husband and I were already looking to move closer to his job in the city. His 45-minute commute was draining, and we hoped to relocate near downtown. But real estate prices in our dream neighborhood were brutal. All we could afford was a tiny two-bedroom, one-bath home — not nearly enough for our family of five, let alone future caregiving needs.
That’s when the idea hit: What if we bought a house with my parents?
Renovations made a home in our dream neighborhood work for us
As it turns out, my mom and dad had already been thinking along the same lines. They started tagging along on house tours, just to see what was out there. That’s when we found it: an off-market three-bedroom, two-bath home in our dream neighborhood. It was way outside the budget we’d set when we were looking by ourselves, but now with their help, we could make it happen.
Thanks to the equity my parents built in their previous home, they were able to contribute significantly to the purchase and renovations. We added a smaller chunk from selling our home, too, with plans to invest more over time as finances allowed.
We each made a list of non-negotiables — privacy, space, layout — and found common ground where we could. Thankfully, the house was set up with a large garage, storage room, and closets that could be renovated into a separate kitchen, bedroom, and living room for my parents.
When the work was complete, we shared an address but had our own front and back doors and two completely separate living spaces. During this process, the big picture always came first: we were building something long-term and significant, not just finding a place to live.
Sharing a home provides a huge financial upside
We split the mortgage and utilities down the middle. If my parents run the A/C at 72 all summer, it’s balanced out by our water usage for a family of five’s laundry. We also divided responsibility for maintenance: if something breaks on their side of the house, they handle it — and vice versa. My mom loves yardwork, whereas my husband is great at small repairs.
Sharing homeowners’ insurance helped reduce costs even further. And when my husband was laid off last summer, it was a huge relief knowing we didn’t face a full mortgage alone. My parents even pitched in quietly, slipping groceries into our fridge.
Besides the finances, the everyday help from my parents — watching the kids, picking up slack — has been invaluable.
We set clear boundaries and have a built-in community
The most important thing we did was to set clear boundaries early. We knock before entering each other’s space. If doors are closed and curtains drawn at night, it’s understood: not a good time to visit.
Saturdays are our “open door” days — coffee chats in each other’s kitchens, kids running between spaces, impromptu advice sessions with my mom and dad when I need a breather. Respect and routine have kept things smooth.
Our weekly dinner is now just a walk across the porch. If I need an egg, I know who to ask. If I can’t find a kid, they’re likely playing chess with Pop Pop or baking with Grandma.
At first, I worried about what people might think: “You live with your parents?” Now I laugh. I can’t imagine doing life without them next door. Sure, we argue sometimes — but when you split a utility bill, conflict doesn’t last long.
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We’d make the same choice all over again
The rewards far outweigh the risks. Our kids are thriving, our finances are healthier, and our relationships are stronger. We’ve built something most families only dream about: true intergenerational support and day-to-day connection.
Now, when I tell people our setup, they often say, “We’ve been thinking about doing that, too.”
