I’ve spent more time than I’d like to admit consuming pickup artist content across every medium. I’ve watched TV shows, lurked in online forums, and read books — the legitimate ones from major publishers and some shady ones sold as e-books on dubious websites.
I can partly chalk that up to the fact that, in the mid-2010s, pickup artist forums became politically relevant due to GamerGate, an online harassment campaign targeting women in the gaming industry.
But even before that, I was thoroughly entertained by “The Pickup Artist,” a 2007 VH1 reality show where a man who went by the name “Mystery” taught hapless young men how to talk to women in Arizona bars. I read “The Game,” the book about Mystery and his band of PUAs (pick-up artists), by music journalist Neil Strauss (who ended up becoming a PUA himself). I simply couldn’t get enough of this strange world of men in feather boas and furry hats (“peacocking” to attract attention) and their bizarre world.
What fascinated me about the pickup artist communities was this tension between hapless young men just yearning for human connection and companionship, and the often noxious, manipulative, and misogynistic gurus who offered to teach them the way. These teachers, who generally sold expensive courses and private lessons, had their own jargon and complicated strategy systems, even if the advice largely boiled down to “Be confident, and go talk to girls.”
Bill Ackman, a hedge-fund manager and highly active social-media poster, recently sparked a minor meme cycle. Reflecting on his youth, Ackman tweeted what he said was his old go-to line for initiating conversation with a woman: “May I meet you?”
I hear from many young men that they find it difficult to meet young women in a public setting. In other words, the online culture has destroyed the ability to spontaneously meet strangers. As such, I thought I would share a few words that I used in my youth to meet someone that…
— Bill Ackman (@BillAckman) November 15, 2025
The general online reaction to his advice has been, um, skeptical. Some have pointed out that this kind of slightly weird line would work only if you were already tall, rich, and good-looking, and could come off creepy to most women.
Others were more positive, saying the line could serve as a jumping-off point for a more sincere conversation. Grindr’s sex and relationship expert, Zachary Zane, said he thinks it’s a “solid icebreaker.” “It gives someone the opportunity/autonomy to cut to the chase and decide whether they want to talk,” he told my colleague Sydney Bradley. At least one person on X claimed they tried out the line and it worked.
“I frankly don’t think, ‘May I meet you?’ is going to cut it,” said Myles Slayton, CEO of the dating app Cerca. “But the thesis of what he’s saying is true. Men are not approaching women as much anymore.”
Ackman has hit on something real: It’s always been intimidating to shoot your shot with someone, but for Gen Z, who grew up in the age of dating apps and social media, it may be even more uncomfortable to strike up a conversation with an appealing stranger. Young single people long to meet someone in person — well, this is how you do it. Sometimes you have to be the mildly awkward person who says a weird line. At worst, you get turned down! Be bold!
But based on my nearly 10,000 hours of PUA knowledge, I can confidently say, “May I meet you?” is, indeed, not the best line for a “cold approach.” The successful kinds of opening lines that true pickup artists suggest are more specific and better at leading to a conversation. A line that my friends and I always loved from the 2007 VH1 show with Mystery was to ask someone, “Hey, did you just see the fight outside?” (There would be, of course, no fight, but it would start a conversation.)
Another tactic would be something like, “Help my friend and me settle an argument: Choose your own lightweight but debatable topic here” — this works well for approaching a group of people, not just a single woman.
Both of these tactics work because they allow you to strike up a conversation without seeming like you’re a sad, thirsty guy trying to hit on a stranger. Get the conversation flowing first, then you can start laying on the charm.
That’s where Ackman’s line is lacking. It’s too obvious about your intentions to hit on the person. Plus, what comes next? You ask her name? How boring! Yuck!
The reality is that the biggest hurdle the PUAs help coach young men through is the “inner game.” The thing that’s holding men back from approaching women and striking up a conversation isn’t that they don’t have the right magic incantation or phrase, but rather a lack of confidence or shyness.
It’s awkward approaching a stranger to talk to them — and getting over that fear and awkwardness is the hardest part. Some PUAs recommend lower-stakes practice, such as talking to old ladies in the grocery store, just to build confidence about approaching strangers.
So if using Ackman’s line gives someone the confidence to talk to a stranger (politely!) in a bar, then they’re already 75% of the way there. The hardest part is just saying anything — who cares what the corny line is!
I was browsing through Reddit’s r/seduction forum today to see if they had caught wind of Ackman’s suggestion (they hadn’t). But instead, I saw an interesting recent post that suggested a new “stupid simple natural seduction method” to meeting women, and detailed a 4-step plan:
1) Get good at an interest or hobby 2) Organize events around it 3) Be seen as the leader by girls who attend those events 4) Choose the girls you like
It turns out that being a well-rounded, normal person with interests may help more than a snazzy opening line. Even the professional PUAs agree!
Additional reporting by Sydney Bradley.
