We Moved From the UK to the US; I Struggle With Loneliness

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Clare Brown, the founder of Homeschool of 1. It has been edited for length and clarity.

Having been born and raised in England, the UK had always been my home. As an adult, my husband, son, Freddie, and I lived in a small village in Leicestershire, just down the road from my extended family and lifelong friends.

I was working from home, running a blog for homeschooling parents, and homeschooling Freddie, who was 9 at the time.

Very randomly, in December 2018, my husband got home from work as the director of an engineering company and said he’d been offered the chance to relocate to the US.

We all agreed it would be an adventure.

Homeschooling made the move easier

Homeschooling made it that bit easier to move, so by April 2019, we’d left our home, family, and friends to live in West Palm Beach, Florida.

The first year we lived in the US, we were in a gated community with other young families. Everything felt new and exciting — an adventure — just what we wanted.

We arrived in the summer, and I remember loving the sun, constantly being at the pool, and spending endless hours with Freddie and the other young families in the neighborhood.

Freddie decided to try out school starting in September 2019, so he went to the local school until the pandemic hit in March 2020.

We started homeschooling again, which I loved, and we moved out of our rental and into a house we bought.

The newness of the move had worn off by this point.

My son was very lonely

Freddie was very lonely. Although there were lots of kids in the neighborhood, he saw them only after school.

It wasn’t just Freddie who felt the pang of loneliness in a new place — I felt it too. I especially missed my family, both their company and their help.

In England, family and friends would have Freddie for a few hours so I could work, or for a sleepover so my husband and I could go on a date. We didn’t have that anymore.

Christmas and Easter, when my family would gather, are the times I missed, and continue to miss, my family most.

It’s a priority for me to speak to them once a week and fly back home to see them once a year — both ways, I stay connected to them even though we are an ocean away.

I’m worried about our aging parents

However, my biggest worry is how we will care for our aging parents. My dad died two years ago, and I only just made it home in time to say goodbye. His death made me realize how fast death can happen, and consider how we’ll support our families from afar in the future.

The silver lining in being so far from extended family has been that our family unit of three does everything together and has become incredibly close because of it. Not surrounded by other family, we depend on each other in a way we wouldn’t have if we lived back in England.

In June 2024, my husband’s job took us to Huntsville, Alabama. Although Alabama is only the state next door to Florida, it is completely different.

Between my husband, Freddie, and me, I’ve found this last year the hardest.

Freddie decided he wanted to go to high school to experience prom. He is settling well and finding his way with hobbies and friendships. My husband has made friends through work. But with Freddie going to school (and him getting older), I don’t feel needed or plugged into a natural community like I had been when he was younger and home all the time.

Despite the loneliness that moving to a new country has caused me, I wouldn’t change it. Living in the US will give Freddie so many opportunities. But more than that, these moves have created family bonds we wouldn’t have had otherwise.