Things Wedding Guests Actually Care About, From a Frequent Guest

I’ve been to dozens of weddings in different places, from backyards and churches to high-end homestead hotels and wineries. I once even attended a wedding at a zoo and another on the grounds of a museum.

But no matter the type of celebration — casual, fancy, or in-between — I have seen and heard firsthand what matters most to guests. No, it’s not the favors or the cake.

If you want to throw a wedding that guests will rave about for years, here are three things you need to focus on.

Guests expect a good meal (and decent portions of it)

At one wedding, I was served a sausage in a piece of bread. The meagre offering was slightly offset by the venue’s stunning views of the sunset, but it still sticks in my mind as not being quite what was expected.

A guest will remember if they need to stop on the way home for a fast-food top-up.

As part of the unofficial contract of being a wedding guest, you expect a decent meal in exchange for your investment (paying to get there, giving a gift, maybe even buying a new outfit, or booking a hotel).

So, weddings with just a cocktail menu can be tricky to nail — there’s often never enough food, and where you stand will dictate how often the waitstaff come your way.

Based on my experience, shared platters are a solid approach if you want to elevate a wedding meal beyond a buffet or the choice between plated chicken or steak.

This is where plates of meat, salads, and sides are distributed at each table for everyone to help themselves. That way, guests have some choice in what they eat and how much.

It’s crucial to have a dance floor that keeps the party going

For a couple, the wedding day is about celebrating their relationship in front of loved ones and creating special memories together.

For the guests, it’s about getting dressed up, catching up with friends and family, and having a party. This means you need to nail some good music for the dance floor.

A live band can be great, but only if they’re given a clear guide on what songs to play and especially what not to. I’ve been to several weddings where the song choices have been downright boring, resulting in deserted dance floors.

When putting together your wedding playlist, keep the slower songs for earlier on in the night and be sure to up the tempo as the reception progresses.

The best weddings are when the couple puts their own stamp on the music (without offending grandma) while including enough wedding anthems that everyone will leave their seats for.

Shoot for speeches that are memorable for the right reasons

Wedding speeches can be funny, witty, and poignant. They can also be too long, boring, and cringeworthy.

Keep the speeches short and limit who gives them — not every man and his dog needs to speak. The parents of the groom and bride can do one, and then a friend from each side.

Give them a time limit and tell the parents who think it’d be lovely to go down memory lane, starting from when you were born, that this is not a funeral. Make sure they mention the other partner and something about how the couple is great together.

It’s also a good idea to get the speeches done and dusted by the main course. This can help prevent the best man from having one too many nervous beers beforehand.

Plus, this’ll free up the night for more dancing.