College Applications: Waiting Was the Worst Part for My Daughter

I spent my daughter’s senior year in what felt like survival mode. It was a year of constant decisions and deadlines, culminating in four years of planning.

There were dozens of essays for college and scholarship applications, SATs, an artistic portfolio, supplemental applications, and departmental interviews. We had to complete all of this while managing an extremely rigorous senior year with AP classes, dual enrollment courses, and a calendar full of extracurriculars.

But despite all the chaos, we struggled with the waiting periods the most.

Waiting was the hardest part of the application season for my family

I quickly realized we would always be waiting: waiting for applications to open, waiting for deadlines to arrive, waiting for any indication from schools on the next steps related to the application, and waiting for decision day, which for most is in the month of March, many months after applying.

The stress came from waiting, not from doing so many things. Senior year was one long lesson in patience.

My daughter completed the work easily, but she struggled with the waiting process. I had to keep an eye on her mental health.

Thankfully, we had a support system

As I partnered with our daughter, I learned it takes a village to get through this waiting game.

Over her four years, some very special high school teachers and great guidance counselors were vital to the process because they offered her opportunities that enhanced her application. We are proud that she built strong relationships with amazing adults who supported her with essay reviews, recommendation letters, and course guidance.

Meanwhile, I turned to Facebook. I found some great groups that provided a lot of clarifying information. The people in those groups taught me a lot, and commiserated with me when I felt like I couldn’t wait any longer.

I definitely would have talked with other parents sooner to better understand the mental effects of the waiting game, so we could better prepare for the silence in between action steps.

I learned a lot throughout the process

If I could go back, I’d tell myself this: the process is the process. You can only control what you do during the process. Embrace the teachable moments, like learning to navigate pressure with grace. Encourage your kiddo to feel confident enough to take their shot, no matter the outcome.

Most importantly, understand that the college application and decision process are not indicators of one’s worth. It’s a matter of schools finding a perceived mutual right fit for their student numbers. There’s a right fit for every student.

When it comes to waiting, I recommend that all parents lean into it. Don’t rush it because soon you’ll be dropping your kid off in their dorm room just as I am now.