We Regret Getting a Big Home; Didn’t Need As Much House As We Thought

As millennials, my husband and I have long been aware that our likelihood of home ownership was abysmal.

After all, the 2007 subprime mortgage crisis was still fresh in our memories as we began designing our future. So, in 2009, when we got the opportunity to have our own home built, we went all in.

At the time, we were sharing a bedroom in my parents’ home with our 15-month-old, and I’d just discovered I was pregnant again. Talks of getting a house happened quickly, but it felt more like wishful thinking than something that would pan out.

However, when my husband and I looked into it, we were surprised to learn that we qualified for an FHA loan to finance a home.

We also found that home builders were relatively desperate to sell homes in order to offload properties they were saddled with after the housing crisis. This meant that the builders and their lenders were very accommodating of us as first-time home buyers.

Since we were taking the plunge anyway, we decided to build the house of our dreams — and we wanted to go big.

We had ideas for using a big house, but they didn’t quite work out as we’d planned

We chose a roughly 3,000-square-foot layout for our home and prioritized having lots of rooms.

Our home builder offered us a $15,000 upgrade credit that we used to add a powder room and an additional large bedroom with an ensuite bathroom similar to the primary.

The additions put the home layout at five bedrooms and three-and-a-half baths. Additionally, the house plan included both formal and casual dining rooms and a private office.

It may have seemed like a lot for our small family, but we planned to use the space and fill it with loved ones.

We were open to having more kids and planned to have my parents move in with us to help with childcare and share expenses. We also intended to have my grandma move into one of our extra rooms so we could help support her in her golden years.

Unfortunately, our plans didn’t work out as we’d expected. My grandmother died before the house was even finished. My parents only lived with us for about five years before moving full time into my grandmother’s old home.

We did have a third child, but for years now, my husband and I have felt like we have too much house.

Although the extra bedroom with an ensuite bathroom was nice while my parents lived with us, it mostly goes unused now. Our larger home comes with higher utility bills, and there’s no one else helping us to pay them now that my parents don’t live here.

There’s also a lot of space to take care of. For now, our children pitch in on chores to keep things tidy, but upkeep of our home lies on our shoulders.

Our oldest is now a year away from moving out for university, and I know our house will only seem bigger and emptier as the kids head off to college.

Sadly, some regrets can’t be fixed with a bit of elbow grease

Looking back, there’s a lot we could’ve done if we hadn’t prioritized size and used all of that credit to make our home bigger.

For example, I’d love to have installed vaulted ceilings, but it feels far too late (and expensive) to make that change now. If we’d gone for a smaller house, maybe we could’ve had a larger back and front yard space.

It’s easy to say the solution to our regrets is to downsize and trade our home in for a smaller model, but that’s not for us.

Besides actively recoiling at the thought of ever having to pack and move again, staying in the home my kids are growing up in is valuable to my husband and me.

Also, I like knowing that our kids will be able to return to their childhood rooms whenever they want to, something neither my husband nor I can say for ourselves.

As much as I cherish the space that makes up our home, I can’t help but have regrets when I think of upgrades we could’ve had or see an electricity bill.

My advice for anyone looking to buy a home is to plan for the absolutes. If you focus on preparing for contingencies instead of certainties, you might end up with something that doesn’t serve your needs if they fall through.