Soho House Protein Shake Review: They Put Regular Smoothies to Shame

I was perched at the gym bar of a Soho House branch in London, looking at a perfect row of plastic cups full to the brim with a pastel-colored, silky liquid, when it struck me how much protein shakes have changed in recent years.

Long gone are the days of gulping down a lumpy, makeshift concoction of water and protein powder in an ugly plastic shaker after a workout. Today, there’s a new class of glossy protein shakes that are infinitely tastier and chicer: reflecting fitness’ luxury rebrand in recent years.

With wispy swirls and a cloud-like texture, the designer protein smoothies at Soho House looked like zoomed-in snippets of an Impressionist painter’s take on a Mediterranean sunset. Whether they would taste as good remained to be seen.

Served in a sleek Soho-House branded cup and each named after a branch of the members club (The Berlin, Warehouse, Shoreditch), they’re part of a menu that launched in February. It includes five protein smoothies and one electrolyte drink intended to help gym-goers prepare for or recover from training.

They’re $12 (£9) a pop and available in New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, and Miami.

The smoothies feature different blends of either whey or plant-based protein powder with fruits, plant milk, supplements like creatine, and buzzy “superfoods” including chia seeds and matcha.

Expensive smoothies with functional add-ons are not new. Jamba Juice sells plenty of $9 smoothies, and Joe and The Juice’s protein shakes, which launched in June 2024, go for $14.50. Although not a fitness drink, the viral $20 Hailey Bieber Strawberry Skin Glaze smoothie, a collaboration between the cult LA organic grocery store Erewhon and the Rhode skincare founder, mainstreamed the idea of the exorbitantly expensive smoothie.

Soho House is just the latest luxury brand to launch a range of elite protein smoothies for its wellness-crazed clientele. Both Barry’s Bootcamp and Equinox have similar offerings. They all prove just how fashionable fitness has become, while their stylish appearance helps them double up as a gold star for participation in the world of luxury wellness.

Just holding one made me feel like an LA influencer.

Here’s how I ranked Soho House’s protein smoothies, from most to least favorite.

The Shoreditch

Ingredients: Cherries, strawberries, goji, chia seeds, whey or plant-based vanilla protein, kefir, coconut milk

Nutrition: 26g protein, 64g carbs, 3g fiber, 42 miligrams salt, 356 calories

The Shoreditch was hands down the most beautiful of the smoothies, and certainly looked like its designer took cues from Hailey Bieber’s Erewhon collab.

It tasted very sweet and creamy, but the kefir (a fermented yogurt drink that contains gut-friendly microbes) gave it an added layer of tang, which I enjoyed. The protein powder was virtually undetectable too. I might have got a little sick of the sweetness by the end if I had drunk the whole thing, but it was definitely one of my favorites.

I personally wouldn’t want to drink this every day because it’s quite intense, but if I did a heavy workout or a long run, I would happily tuck into one of these.

The Warehouse

Ingredients: Pineapple, mango, goji, turmeric, ginger, vanilla protein, cayenne pepper, chia seeds, kefir, and coconut milk

Nutrients: 26g protein, 28g carbs, 3g fiber, 43mg salt, 375 calories

The Warehouse tasted like the protein shake equivalent of a spicy Margherita. It had a tropical fruit base from pineapple and mango and a layer of spice from turmeric and cayenne pepper, which mellowed it out.

The kick took me by surprise and elevated the overall flavor. I would definitely order this again.

The Berlin

Ingredients: Cacao, banana, dates, sunflower seed butter, cacao nibs, vanilla protein, and oat milk. A coffee shot for £1 extra.

Nutrition: 30g protein, 18.6g carbs, 11g fiber, 136mg salt, 401 calories

Berlin tasted like a thick chocolate milkshake. I hate the taste of protein powder, so I was pleasantly surprised that I could barely notice it. I’m also not a fan of bananas (sorry), which can make smoothies a bit of a minefield for me. But all the flavors in this blended nicely into an overwhelmingly chocolatey flavor.

Again, I wouldn’t be buying this every time I went to the gym, but it was a delicious treat that I might enjoy after achieving a fitness goal.

The Beach House

Ingredients: Berries, banana, sunflower seed butter, blue spirulina, chia seeds, dates, vanilla protein, kefir, coconut milk

Nutrients: 26g protein, 77g carbs, 5g fiber, 34mg salt, 444 calories

I was told that The Beach House is the No. 1 best seller of all the smoothies, so I had high expectations. It was tasty, but definitely not my favorite.

For me, there was nothing distinguishing about The Beach House. There were no ingredients in it that any of the other smoothies didn’t have, so I feel it lacked identity.

It tasted like a slightly muted version of the Shoreditch, which is no bad thing if you’re looking for something more low-key.

The Farmhouse

Ingredients: Mango, banana, celery, vanilla protein, goji, green spirulina, matcha, and pea milk

Nutrients: 30g protein, 26g carbs, 7g fiber, 167mg salt, 299 calories

The Farmhouse, as the name suggests, had an earthy flavor. It tasted less exciting than the others, kind of like a green juice, but still pleasant.

For me, a big part of the appeal of a fancy protein smoothie is that drinking it should be fun, so I’d be more inclined to go for one of the fruitier options.But this would be a good choice if you were having these regularly, as it’s high in protein and has less sugar and fewer calories than the other shakes.

House Water

Ingredients: Coconut water, creatine, cucumber, lemon, ginger

Nutrition: 0g protein, 1g carbs, 0g fiber, 0g salt, 128 calories

The House Water is an electrolyte drink, not a protein shake. It’s cheaper than the shakes, costing £5 ($6.80). It’s a nice option if you want something lighter to give you a little boost before a workout class or after a training session, and a tasty way to take your creatine, a workout supplement that research links to muscle gains and weight loss.

If you like coconut water, you’ll love it, but I personally don’t.

Overall, the smoothies were tasty and cheaper than other similar products on the market.

Is $12 a lot for a drink that comes in a plastic cup? Certainly. But given it can help you achieve nutrition goals so conveniently while looking and tasting good, I say they’re worth it if you have the money.