- When Marquita Wright and her husband were working from home, they split childcare duties.
- He had to return to the office full time. Now Wright takes care of their twin sons’ transportation.
- They use babysitters to help free up some time, but it costs them about $200 a week.
This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Marquita Wright, a 39-year-old business-development manager and travel blogger in New Orleans. The following has been edited for length and clarity.
I work in business development for a conveyor manufacturer, and my husband, Jaime, is a civil engineer for the federal government. I’ve been working from home full time since the start of the pandemic.
My husband was working from home during the pandemic, too. We have twin boys, Jaimeson and Marley, who are now 5. When the pandemic began, they were 2.
Having my husband around made it a lot easier, and it was a lot more fun. We shared all the parenting duties fairly equally.
Then my husband went back to the office
About 18 months ago, he was told he had to return to the office three days per week.
My husband going back to the office meant we needed to reconsider how to balance our work and family life. It also meant a lot more work for me.
His work isn’t as flexible as we hoped. They asked why he needed to run on a certain schedule. I work full time as well, but my workplace is more understanding.
If his job were more flexible, he’d be able to help me with school drop-offs and pickups, as well as homework, weekly play-therapy appointments, and other after-school activities.
The twins starting school changed our schedule
Last year, the twins started pre-K. We chose to have them go to two separate schools because they learn very differently. The one who’s very academically inclined goes to a Catholic school, and the other’s at a Waldorf school, which has a different education style centered around arts and imagination.
Their curriculums are totally opposite. They love it, and I think the separation is good for them. Neither of them have had any complaints about wanting to go to the same school.
Choosing the right schools for our boys meant more work for us, but that’s OK.
We had to organize pickup and drop-off days around the days my husband was going into the office: I would pick them up and drop them off when he had to go in, and the days he worked from home he would take on the responsibility.
My husband’s schedule changed again
Three months ago, my husband was told he had to start going into the office every day. This meant he could no longer do the drop-off two days a week and it was all on me.
The Waldorf school doesn’t start until 8:30 a.m., and because my husband has to be at work by 9 a.m., it just isn’t possible for him to do the drop-off if he wants to make it on time every day.
He also isn’t finished with work in time to pick them up when school closes.
School drop-offs and pickups take hours each day
I now spend anywhere from 3 to 4 ½ hours every day doing school drop-offs and pickups.
I still accomplish what I need to get done for my job, but it means I need to wake up at 5 a.m.
I start making lunches at 6:45 a.m. I then do school drop-offs. I normally can’t get back into my work until 8:45 a.m. Then I usually have to stop work at 4:45 p.m. so I can pick them up on time.
I start and finish my day by spending at least an hour and a half on school runs. If there’s play therapy, which one of the boys goes to after school some days, that’s an extra hour.
The kids’ getting sick or having appointments also means I need to step up
If the schools call, or if we have to go to the doctor, I’m now the only parent who can pick them up. It makes our life a lot more challenging.
The amount of time my husband and I have together alone on a daily basis is also now even more limited. After the boys are asleep, I’m heading to bed so I can rest for my 5 a.m. wake-up call, leaving us only a few minutes to catch up and prepare for the upcoming day.
We use babysitters, but they’re costly
I’m from Milwaukee, and my husband is from Miami, so we don’t have a family support network here in New Orleans to help us out.
We have a couple of sitters we use regularly — usually about twice a week — whom we found on Care.com. We spend around $200 per week on them.
The sitters help with school pick-up and will often take the boys to the park to burn off their energy before coming home.
Having help for a few days allows us both to pursue our hobbies outside of work. For me that’s working on my travel blog, and my husband flips houses.
I prefer working from home
I’m happy that I have the flexibility to work from home. I wish my husband could return to working from home a few days a week, but it doesn’t look like that will happen anytime soon.
When my husband is on a hybrid schedule, I have the flexibility to work in silence without interruption on the days he’s at the office — and then on the days he’s at home, I don’t have to adjust my schedule to drop off and pick up the kids.
