My Husband Signed Our 8-Year-Old up for Too Many Sports

I should’ve known marrying a man who participated in all the sports as a child would mean he’d want our daughter to be very involved in activities, too.

My childhood was different; I didn’t have time to participate in many sports. So, when he wanted our 8-year-old daughter to try everything, I thought it was a good idea. I figured it was an opportunity for her to have a better childhood than I did.

But now I’m seeing how these after-school sports affect her, and I’m worried she’s missing out on other parts of her childhood.

My 8-year-old is too busy with sports

It started small. We enrolled her in gymnastics as a preschooler, but then she wanted to try out for the competitive team as a first grader.

Her interests grew quickly from here. In first grade, our daughter enrolled in gymnastics, basketball, soccer, running club, and softball. With year-round gymnastics, she has at least four hours of practice weekly.

Picking her up from school on practice nights becomes a whole game of Tetris. We sometimes have to shuttle her to two practices a night. She also needs to come home in time for a good meal, leading to a hustle through bathtime and bedtime.

Through all of that, she sometimes complains that she didn’t have time to hang out at home.

To add to a growing schedule, I signed our family up for a 5K. On the day, we’ve got to be at the starting line at 7:45 Saturday morning. Immediately following the run, we’ll all need to grab breakfast so our daughter can fuel up for her 10:15 soccer game.

There is no amount of pressuring her to sign up for anything; we only let her do what she is interested in doing. We do have a family value, though, that you follow through on your commitments. So, when she decides to sign up for a season, we have her see it through.

She is reaching a breaking point

But inevitably, there will come a time when she’ll want to skip practice. She’ll ask why she never gets to stay home and relax. She’ll start to ask to skip a school day so she can have a mental health day.

I know all this is coming because it’s exactly what she did last year. It simply becomes too much for her.

I’ve discussed my hesitations with my husband, who listens and understands my concerns. But he thinks it’s all worth it. He says we’d be doing her a disservice if we didn’t sign her up for all these activities.

He often points out that she loves everything she’s participating in. He also explains that our daughter asks to participate in these sports, which is true.

I’m worried she’s missing out on a calmer childhood

I understand the lessons sports teach: responsibility, teamwork, discipline, and friendship.

But when did we decide that having a lazy day at home isn’t also teaching her something? Why is just getting her outside, in our backyard, not enough?

I worry that if we focus too much on filling her schedule now, and she decides she doesn’t like it, she’ll want to cut everything out as she ages. I worry she won’t understand the joy of just one activity. I worry we’re creating an all-or-nothing mentality in her at 8.

Childhood isn’t a checklist. I want her to remember more than just being shuttled around. Maybe it’s time we make space for boredom and backyard adventures — and the kind of quiet that doesn’t need a signup form.