Living Abroad, Far From Family, Got Too Difficult; We Moved Back

Seeking adventure and needing to pay off student loans, I moved to Taiwan in my early 20s.

I was complaining about my debt when a friend mentioned that teaching English abroad could be a good way out. My job as a child and youth worker in Canada was not covering the bills. I convinced my then-boyfriend to join and we spent the next two and half years teaching kindergarten and elementary students in Taiwan

But after fiscal success, having achieved our goal, we decided to move back to Canada. Returning home in my mid-20s with an inflated ego after a few years of easy money, a comfortable life, and a level of respect as an English teacher proved to be a hindrance to my success in Canada.

We lost a lot of our savings in the time it took us to set up our lives again. We struggled to find jobs in Canada that paid enough to meet living expenses and ended up moving four times between cities. We found ourselves once again in a financial hole that was becoming deeper with every passing year.

Seeking security in Taiwan

So, 6 years later, after getting married, we returned to Taiwan in 2009, this time, our plan was to relocate permanently.

I spent most of my 30s, the next 7 and a half years, in Taiwan teaching English.

I loved the job, the lifestyle, having financial security, the opportunity to travel, designing my dream apartment, and eventually, adopting three cats.

However, even though we were building a good life in Taiwan, it didn’t negate the fact that a significant part of our life was back in Canada, our family.

While living in Taiwan, my father-in-law died suddenly of a heart attack, and our world tilted. We went home to mourn with my husband’s family but realized two weeks was an insignificant amount of time to process such a loss.

Just over a year later my nephew passed away on his school playground at recess. He was 8 years old and I had spent 7 years in Taiwan. I had met him only a few times in his short life.

Suddenly, the money, the pretty apartment, and the beautiful view no longer held us captive.

My husband and I starkly began to understand that the distance between us and our family meant that we could not really be a part of each other’s lives. We could not be there to grieve, celebrate, or share.

Home was calling

We’ve now been back in Ontario, Canada for almost 8 years. I’m involved in my nieces and nephews’ lives and I take time to travel with my sisters. My five brothers are no longer strangers to me. I’ve been able to visit my only living grandparent many times since I’ve been back — she’s in her mid-90s. I see family almost every month now for holidays or sometimes just to get together.

At 46, after starting over in Canada again, changing careers, and dealing with the rising cost of living, I doubt that we’ll ever be financially comfortable again. We’ll probably never own a house, buy a new car, go on fancy vacations, or have a comfortable retirement.

But it’s all worth it to watch my nieces and nephews grow into adults. I also have time for intimate conversations with my siblings during car rides or while hiking nearby.

I found grand adventures out there — lessons and insights that came when I stripped away everything familiar and influential. Growth happened when I pushed beyond my boundaries and realized the only limits were the ones I had created.

I also came to see the tremendous value in sometimes staying put.