- I met my ex-husband in the office over 20 years ago.
- In 2018, I returned to that company, but I’ve been working from home.
- Now that the company has issued an RTO mandate, I have to see my ex-husband in the office.
Like many people, I recently started watching the TV show “Severance.” In it, workers at a mysterious company voluntarily undergo surgery to split their work and personal memories into two separate identities.
I was enjoying the show. Then, my company issued a mandatory return-to-office directive for a minimum of two days a week.
I’m now wishing we had the scientific capability to get the “Severance” surgery done so I wouldn’t have to return to an office shared with my ex-husband and his new wife.
As more companies issue RTO mandates, they hope “workplace culture” is the key to success. But for me, this workplace culture is a huge reminder of one of my greatest failures — my marriage.
I met my ex-husband at this company
Of course, workplace relationships are risky. There were any number of ways it could have blown up in my face. But I never expected the repercussions of this choice to unfold slowly over more than a decade.
But that’s what happened. I met my ex-husband in this office about 20 years ago. Things went well for a while, and we decided to get married in 2005. While we were married, I quit my job to try remote freelancing.
After 13 years together, our marriage came to an end amicably, and we parted ways.
In 2018, I suddenly needed health insurance because of the divorce. My old company — the one my ex-husband still worked for — brought me on full-time while allowing me to work remotely.
Since then, things have been going just fine. I’ve been doing my job quietly and effectively at home. I’ve been incredibly responsive to work communications and check in with my manager regularly. I like to think I do a good job for my department and take pride in my work.
I’m still being forced to work in the office
After five years of the whole company working remotely, they have issued the mandate.
I initially thought my remote arrangement would be honored since it predated the pandemic. I was wrong.
I explained to HR my discomfort about going back into the office, even highlighting the fact that I would see my ex-husband there. If that weren’t quite awkward enough, seeing him would also be a constant reminder of his new wife, whom he coincidentally also met in the office and who was also summoned back under the RTO mandate.
It seemed like an uncomfortable and unfair situation for all of us. Still, I was told there would be no exceptions except for sickness. They were willing to reconsider my request if I got a doctor’s note for my anxiety.
I need to face my past every time I’m in the office
I barely remember what it’s like to function in an office environment anymore. I’ve become a pajama-clad feral creature. But now I must head into the office two days a week and look somewhat presentable.
I’m not the only person at my company who isn’t thrilled about the RTO mandate — far from it. But I think I am one of the few who is being forced to confront the dramatic past of my personal life as I try to conduct my professional life.
When I see my ex in the hall, I know I’ll feel sadness about the mistakes I made and the time we both lost. When we decided to divorce, we at least managed to take charge of our lives and reshape them into something better for each of us. All these years later, it feels like our autonomy has been upended since we are now forced to see each other weekly.
I’m trying to maintain a positive outlook and adapt. Maybe getting out of the house, putting on real clothes, and talking to someone besides my cat will be positive.
But if you hear of any good memory-splitting surgeons, please let me know.
